Friday Night Wishes and Ramblings

Another Friday night alone. I am so tired of these nights. Not tired for lack of sleep, although I am lacking "sleepful" nights, but more along the lines of being tired for lack of companionship.

Mom, if you're reading this, I am about to talk about drinking, so you might want to stop reading here. Lisa, if you're reading this, you know how I feel, probably amplified by about 10,000.

I had a decent Friday night at work. One guy gave me a $15 tip. I should preface that by telling you that the driveway was packed with tricked out cars, and I think that might have something to do with the tip. For those who don't know, my car ain't exactly "stock". He asked me what kind of tip I wanted. I told him that that was completely up to him, and I had no say. He asked again, and I told him again that it was his choice. Then I told him that some people give me no tip, and in the last week I got a 1 cent tip, and one exact change delivery, again. So whatever prompted him to give me $15, I don't know, but I say THANKYOU! Not that I expect that kind of tip for slinging pizzas', but I didn't mind all that much (except for a little guilt, not sure why). Then there was always my attraction to my manager, maybe one day that will fade, but today is not that day.

Now for post work speak. I wanted soooo desperately to have somebody to call to join me for a drink at a local bar. I was damn near despondent, I could barely try to explain to Monica how I felt, without talking her ear off. But why would I do that to a woman who seems perfectly happy with her relationship with her boyfriend? I wouldn't, that's why. When i got in my car, I rifled through my phone, for digits that would get me trough to anybody awake and willing to go out with me. I found jack shit. When I finally arrived back at my apartment, I knocked on my neighbor Erin's door, just trying to have a drinking buddy. However, she was waiting for a friend who'd had a rough night to come spend the night. So all we did was go outside for a smoke. Not quite the same. Smoking a cig only takes a short few minutes, and that simply amounts to bs small talk. No help there. I kinda want a drinking buddy again. I know I shouldn't drink so much. However, having two jobs again has certainly quelled that bad habit, and it's now Friday night, and all I want is somebody(s) to go out or sit in with, and have a few drinks together, get the week off our chests, and have a jolly good time. But here I am, posting a blog about it, alone, once again. I know when, where, and even venture a guess at why I lack the skills/drive to go out and meet new people. It's something I try to change, but the fact of the matter is that I feel like my friend Brent, in that there seems to be nobody to; a. actually listen to me when I ramble, b. batches fewer to understand what I mean when I do, c. care all that much either. I guess that's why I write such long blogs. I don't apologize for them being so long. I need to get things off my chest from time to time. It would be ever so much better if I had somebody to listen to me face to face, you know? Companionship when I need it, not just when it's available.

I digress. You want to hear some crap about insurance? Here goes... So I switched over to a different insurance company today, during job #1, and then called my previous carrier to cancel that policy. When I called the previous provider, I was informed that with my driving record, and the duration that i was with them, I had gained a status of Accident Forgiveness. Funny thing there, they never told me that before... Then I was told that it would take four years with any new insurance issuer to grant me that, as long as in the next four years my record remained spotless. Go fucking figure. But I had to do it for job #2. Fu#%!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy sweet mother of loneliness do I feel single! I miss having someone to get up before, offering me the chance to kiss them on the cheek and wish them a good day before I leave. I miss knowing that there will be a loved one coming through the door and saying "hello" or, "hey there, I missed you", etc... Hell, part of me almost misses somebody getting home and merely complaining about how shitty her day was. I guess it's entirely my fault that i don't try harder to meet somebody new. The women I meet are always taken, or totally psycho for that matter. Sometimes both!!! :)

I could go on for so much longer, as my mind is racing like a puma on crack, but I have had a few beers now, and it's getting harder for me to remember what I am typing versus what I am thinking. So I guess I'll give my fingers a break, and go back to giving them the job of holding a can, and then raising them to almost quench my thirst. On that note, I hope you all have a good day! I love some of you, and currently feel rather indifferent about the rest of you. Peace out y'all!