Here I Go Again (on my own)

Hello all,

Here's a real snafu for you. I was half way though writing this post a few hours ago. I had a plan, a plot, a storyline, a midstory (my own word), and a conclusion. However, I decided to go get myself a beverage, and noticed that the home owner was both awake, and outside of his bedroom. Knowing that he has at least one audio mixing program in his possession, I decided to ask him if any of them were on an official CD. He had one, geared towards guitar/bass audio mixing, but I figured my voice is deep enough that it might just recognize my voice as a bass guitar. I made my way back downstairs, and intended to finish the posting that I had started, when my computer completely froze up on me. I could do nothing to unlock it, and ended up having to do a hard power down. I hate having to do that! Since then, I've talked about what I was going to post, with a couple of people, and I've decided not to finish what I had started. Instead, I will say this, I will continue to attend the ChiVO group meetings, and continue to tell myself that not having any money for new recording equipment, audio mixing programs, and a new computer is no reason to give up on my dreams. That optimism is not normal for me (as most of you readers of this blog, or however few of you are left, know.)

In other news, I realized yesterday, while responding to a request for info about websites I might have, that my alternate email address is technically a link to my own web page. If only I had fully set it up with personal info months ago, when I had decided that my current email address was no longer to my liking! I feel weird giving out the one email address that I've had (in some variation, or another) for 11 years now. My deathfoe..@... account name was born from a video game characters name that I got to change, in a time in my life when "deathfoe" seemed like a good choice for the character name (as I had been playing the game for a while, and had died so many times before I learned all the secrets of success.) When I logged back into that site yesterday, I discovered that I had several new emails, mostly junk mail, and something I had requested to that site back in January was still waiting for me. Oops... I have taken steps towards completing my profile on that site now. It's available at daved42@hotmail.com. Should anybody feel more comfortable sending email to that address, instead of a teenagers email address. ;) (yeah, that's right, this 30 year old still uses emoticons)

As for non-news, I am still discontent in my life. Single for way to long now, and it's taken it's toll on me. Not just in the expected longings way, but in my day to day mental health way. I have started to fear that my longing for a companion has led me to acting in a desperate fashion. Although my intentions are not malicious, or entirely libido oriented, I feel like I need to choose my words and actions much more carefully around a woman much more carefully than I might under normal, or even regular circumstances. (Yeah, I'm back into full blown run-on sentence mode.) I'm feeling crappy about this scenario. Mix that with who I have been recently intrigued by, and what that might mean, and I am not fairing well psychologically. As if I really needed any more issues to deal with. That's life though, I guess.

Alright, that is all I've got for now. Thanks for reading this! Peace out, and good night!