Terrible Tuesdays

Hello Readers,

Today is in fact a Tuesday, based on the calendar still used around most of the world. In regular me fashion, I will now go off on a tangent! I find it amusing that in a widely Christian/Catholic/Judaic/Muslim/Hindu world, in which all believe in a singular all mighty thing, our calendar days are still named after ancient gods and goddess'. Secondly, in the time that has passed by, mostly unimpeded by us measly human folk, our days are way out of line, the hours are all wrong, and the seasons no longer match up quite right, it's no surprise that every day we are likely to run into somebody who tells you that it feels like a day that it's not. It probably is, actually. Anyway, Terrible Tuesday is the name of an old mix tape I made (yes, that's right, mix "tape") many moons ago. And today, being another Tuesday, seemed like a good day to name this post after said tape. For it is the first day (well technically the second first day) that I don't get to enjoy the presence that is Stefanie. It's a sad day. So sad, that I've hereby upgraded it to terrible. That of course is of a personal opinion, and if you ask the man upstairs (literally upstairs, not that deity thingy) it should be a good day, but I think he's taking it worse than me. Not unexpectedly, but he got what he was asking for. Okay, maybe not in so many words, but more or less got the point across regardless. I, however, have found within me quite a fondness for the girl with more shoes than most shoe stores.

That has made for quite the mental breakdown within my normally strong, unwavering psyche (laugh if you'd like). As some of you know, I have a personal age limit of 5 years either way from my age for which I will even allow myself any kind of attraction. Well, it would seem that my inner self had a talk with itself, without checking with me first, and somebody kicked somebody's ass, or something like that, and here I am. I recently, and by recently I mean about two weeks ago, had a bit of an epiphany about her, well me anyway. Some of you may have heard, a few years ago, about the "list". It's some list anybody can compile, of all the traits you want in a partner. This list can vary in length, some say 20 traits, some say 50, I tried for 100. It's not easy to get past 15 really, so you really need to take time to really think about it. I made it up to about 70 or so. Anyway, that was a few years ago, and I hadn't really thought about it in a while, until recently. Then, all of a sudden it just sort of flashed through my head, in rapid fire succession, and minus one (okay, two, as I made my 5 year swing two different "traits") and sitting right in front of me, literally, was somebody who completed it. This was not nearly as comfortable of a realization as you might want to think. It caused all kinds of eye twitching, and old tics to be woken up. But when I did calm down, several days later, I found that I was suddenly okay with it. So anyway, now, I'm missing her for all the right reasons, while the guy upstairs (not repeating myself) is struggling to understand a whole lot of things, and quite possibly missing the reason that she left altogether. I say to you, Stefanie, it took you long enough, but good for you! Oh, and don't come back!!! ;)

I wish I could now follow her lead, and get my recently defeated ass out of here as well. My head is tired, my soul is aching and tired, and as for me, I just need to go. Living here has taken a lot out of me, and until I get out, I will not find any inner peace, or rationality. I can't do anything more here, and I'm not saving any money like I was "supposed to be". Don't worry mom, I won't be following Stef's lead, and moving back in with you and dad! I'll figure something out, hopefully sooner than later. Ha! How many times have I said that before? This time, I really mean it though. So, um...yeah.

Alright, that's about all I have to say about that. Lisa, sorry I never sent you that email this weekend. Mom, I'm glad that you've gotten some sleep lately! Dad (?), how are the trains coming along? Stef, this is not news to you, so there! And I hope you move went smoothly! Rachel, this is three blogs since you asked, and I don't even know if you have been checking, but hello! To everybody else who I really can't say reads this irregularly updated blog, I hope you're all doing well. Now I'm going to start drinking, and put on some sad music. Maybe I'll drag the one stereo which actually has a tape deck, and dig out that old tape. If only I could remember what I titled it. Peace out y'all! Have some laughs, some good eats, and some good music of what ever genre suits your mood!