Why Doesn't This Change?

Hello all. As a preface for this post, I would like to warn some that certain things contained within may hurt, and that it isn't easy for me either. Also, this is not the start of a fictional story. I have been trying to come up with a good plot line, but this life of mine proves too strange in reality, that coming up with fictional material would too closely represent actual life. So until I can work something out to avoid that, I will not be entering that foray.

Starting off with the good. A short while ago my car flipped out on me. I tried a couple of things, but with no luck. Thanks to my insurance plan, I was able to get it towed to a local shop at no cost. A shop that was recommended to me by a co-worker. For a minuscule fee of $75, my car was fixed. It turned out to be my ignition coils, and thanks to VW's Customer Satisfaction Campaign, they were covered. As it was not technically a warrantied item, or even a recall (as not every car was effected, and every manufacturer that used the coil packs had an issue with every model using them, no recall could be made, because it wasn't just one car company), I had to pay for the initial diagnosis only. Which is lucky for me, as a tipped wage part-time employee, because the cost a four new ones would have been $600! So, phew! Thankyou VW!

More good? Sure. My sister got a new job at a hospital, and is very pleased with both the position, and her coworkers! So yay Lisa! As for other family news, my mom has been making good progress in her recovery. She had a slight mishap a few days ago, but that hasn't slowed her down too much. So, yay Mom!

Even more good news? Well, sure, but this is where things get to some natural drama. I hate drama. I really do. People who make shit up, just to fill their lives with it, piss me off. I am aware that a blissful life without occasional drama is not at all likely to happen to anybody, but I'm not one to go out looking for it. So imagine how it feels when a good thing forces drama, and there isn't a damn thing to be done about it. It started off innocent enough, I swear. I met a girl. Well, I met a woman, actually. See, not so bad. I like her. You could even say I have a crush on her. You might even be surprised that it isn't a purely hormone driven crush, which I thought it might be at first. It's been a while for me, see? How long? Long enough. Anyway, that's where the good thing stops being so great.

First of all, I work with her. Not often mind you, generally only for about an hour or two a week. But I have not thought it was a good idea to date people you work with for a long time now. I used to think it was a ludicrous thing that some companies ban the practice, making you sign contracts swearing that you won't, or you will be terminated. Then I had my first bad break up, and I understood why such contracts have been concocted. So yeah, it's a bit of an issue for me on that front. Secondly, some of you may remember a fairly recent post about another girl who I came to terms with loving. Well, I still love her, but it is not a relationship that is likely to materialize any time soon, or really ever. Life has changed since then. Third, this is where the crappy type of junior high/high school drama seeps in. No, I'm not proud of this, or do I in any way endorse it. However, the nut of it is this: The place I work at is a place where my ex, of thirteen (nearly fourteen) years ago, works. We dated for a few months the last time I lived up here. The shell of said nut is that the woman I find myself attracted to is a good friend of my ex. One could argue that this shouldn't be an issue, what with such a length of time between, and that I didn't know this other woman existed back then, or that I'd find myself in this predicament all these years later. However, it is a bit of an unspoken rule among exes, that you don't date friends. See, drama. Not cool. I've been wrestling around with this in my head for a while now, and although it's mostly illogical to find any of this to have any bearing on future actions, I can't quite get past it. There is also the work thing. Okay, were this Chicago, and not such a small town, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal. But, it is a small town, and people talk. The company is a fairly family-ish place to work. I don't' really know these people, and I didn't grow up here. They seem cool, and I've been to a few company social outings, and enjoyed myself, but still. It's made me think about what'll happen if, a) I started dating her, and b) in the potential event of a bad thing what would that do to my job? See, more drama. I suppose I could ignore the whole thing, and continue on in my ha ha bachelor lifestyle. That doesn't seem the healthiest choice, but it's an option. Damn drama. It just goes to show, you never know who you're going to fall for, or when. Things like that never change, I guess. On the plus side, I can't really ask her out, because I have no bloody money!

Well, now that I got that out of my mind, and you are all probably asking yourselves "why is this guy sounding more like a girl?", I suppose I'll stop. In other news, the hunt for a full time job is still on. One of these days I'm going to need to move out of my p's house, and get back under my own roof again. I just can't suck it up and get any old retail job. I can't stand the rules and regulations of such jobs, and it is draining on my brain. School doesn't seem within reach right now, and the job market still sucks, even for those with degrees. So the hunt goes on. Perhaps I should get myself a battle trumpet, a horse, and some weaponry. I bet nobody would forget about my applications then.

Until next time, good music, good eats, and good company to everybody! Take care of yourselves. Peace out, y'all!