Hello, and welcome to my almost brilliant idea for changing the winter Olympic games. This came to me this morning, while I was slicing up a banana for my breakfast cereal and I had a minor epiphany.
As many of you have most likely heard, Russia (who had seven long years to prepare for the 2014 games, but waited until there was about a week to go to do anything) has really pulled off some dreadful debacles, to put it mildly. I have heard and seen some of this, which the major network that carries the games has barely touched on, but other news sources have reported the atrocious conditions that the athletes and full time residents alike have been dealing with in Sochi. For example, incomplete bathrooms and living quarters, the guy that flubbed the rings (and was later found dead having fallen on some knives, which sounded more like something that would have happened in Japan), local exterminators hired by the local mayor to walk through the streets of the town and shoot every stray dog dead, and the local mayor also proclaiming that there are "no gay people in my town." This is not only an embarrassment to Russia, but an absolute insult to the athletes who work so hard in their respective sports to be invited by the Olympic committee to partake in the games, all animal lovers/caretakers/owners, gay rights supporters, and basically anybody who believes that all people should be treated equally. I quipped that North Korea may have done a better job, though I doubt they'd win a bid to host the games. I shifted my thought to the demilitarized zone, but took a second to think about that before realizing that wouldn't work. Then it hit me.
I propose that we take the winter games away from any country, and hold them on international water, on cruise ships. Yes, cruise ships. You know, those ginormous and insanely built boats? Well hear me out. First of all, nobody would have to worry about the living quarters for the athletes, they're already built in, and well maintained. Secondly, some of them already have olympic size swimming pools that could easily be converted to an ice rink, for all of the skating events. For the cross country skiing, who really needs a shuffleboard on the deck? Just have them ski around the perimeter of the deck. Some cruise ships also have those huge water slides, which could rather easily be converted into both luge runs, and ski jumps. On the topic of ski jumping, we could make it more challenging for those athletes, and have the jump on one ship, and the landing on another! For those who fall a little short, those boats already have life boats, for pulling them out of the drink! The only event that might suffer a bit is the biathlon, however they would have a great chance when the pirates show up. They could stay sheltered from pirate shots, by racing around the below deck track, and shooting at the pirates through the port holes. This might not make it into every winter games, but it would sure be a lot more fun to watch. Those ships also have gyms built in too, though slightly smaller than usual Olympic quality gyms, but imagine the added camaraderie among the athletes. And imagine, if you will, the amazing camera shots, when the cameras pan out to show the surrounding area, they could film the whales, sharks and dolphins!
As for the spectators, I'm slightly undecided. Since most people around the world simply watch from their couches at home anyway, they could simply make it a televised only event. Alternatively, we have decommissioned, yet perfectly sea worthy aircraft carriers, that could have stands built on the flight deck. This may be a good thing, since the airforce could lend some aid against the pirates, in case the biathlon skiers have a hard time adapting to shooting while standing up. I'd also like to propose that the medal winners could all board another cruise ship, say a six star ship, that can circumnavigate the entire ocean (yes, it really is all the same ocean), and take the athletes back to every country that they come from, in luxury and style!
I think this could all work, and then no country would have the chance to drop the ball, and it could become a truly international world event, on international waters. There may still be a few wrinkles in this plan, but we have a couple of years to work those out.
In other news, my new book is slowly but surely coming along. As for my first book, it is still available on Amazon, in both kindle and kindle app form, and in print. I fudged the print size, so the printed version is not a standard paperback size, so it'll look a little funny on a bookshelf. In case you forgot, the title was changed from New Life (as it was first called here), to Daemon Infiri. Please also be aware that I am aware that I can't edit my own work all that well. In short format form, like this blog, sure, more or less, but in a format the size of a book, I'm rubbish.
Alright, if you think my new proposal for the winter games sounds good to you, make sure you tell your local Olympic Committee member about it! Alright, that is all for now, folks. As per usual, I hope you all remember to smile, laugh, spend times with your favorite peeps, have some good eats, and enjoy your favorite beverage. Peace out, y'all!