Tuesday 28 April 2009

Once Upon a Dream (I almost wish I'd never had)

This story starts a bit more than 10 years ago. I was a teen back then, and I lived a life not all that different than the life I lead now. Only back then I lived without consequence in my mind, or responsibility yet learned. I lived my life in a way that was multifaceted. To some I was the quiet guy, who never wanted to be on record, but occasionally had a quip of young wisdom. To others I was an actor, who knew how to project my voice in order to command attention, or direct the masses of youth. To others I was a builder of objects, and a planter of seeds, if you've ever heard the term "plant a little seed and watch it grow", then you know what I mean. To others yet, I was a dark soul, much like the ones depicted on the After School Specials that the media used to air back then, in order to scare off the weak minded, and the young women from spending time with deviants. To most though, I was just the odd one out, the freak of mind, the seer of truths, and the bearer of pain. Pain more psychological than physical in most cases. When it comes right down to it, I was all of those things. I just decided who got to see which side of me, and when I wanted them to. But what nobody ever saw was my unconscious mind. The part of my mind that even I could not control. Specifically, my dreams.

My whole life I have been privy to some of the most wildly vivid dreams. The kind that stick with you for decades. Most of them of a variety that I would not wish upon most people, ever. Some of those dreams actually taught me a thing or two, that I would never have learned otherwise. A few dreams were actual foresight, not premonitions. Mostly though, they were dark and twisted, and would leave me shaking and sweating. Not so much night terrors, although a few of them would certainly qualify in that category, but more a brutal insight into the brutality of human capacity. Then, late in my teenage years, I started dreaming of a girl. Not every night, but often enough to remember her from dreams had in nights not to far passed. After a while, it became nearly every night that she would find a way into the deepest part of my nightmare, and without ever showing me her face, lead me out of the hell my mind had created for me. At that point, I started thinking of her during my waking hours. I felt something wasn't right, almost as though I was missing something. Finally, one night, after months of her showing up in my dreams, I ran into somebody I hadn't seen in years. She worked at a restaurant at the local mall. We got to talking, and the conversation made it's way to if I was seeing anybody. I told her my answer, and she told me there was somebody I needed to meet.

A couple days after that random encounter, I had yet another dream that included the mystery girl. She was about a foot shorter than me. She had dark dark brown hair, falling in gentle curls just below her shoulder blades. She was petite, but gave off such a sense of control, strong but not overbearing. But still, I couldn't see her face. The day after, I went to my friend, Brent's house. He had constructed a "cave" in his bedroom. It wrapped around one corner of his room, with a small entrance (just big enough for anybody to crawl through) at one end, that led to a crawl space, tall enough to stand on your knees in, which continued along one wall, and then turned to another wall. Along the second wall the roof was still high enough to balance on your knees, for about 5 feet, and then it dropped down to another "cave" entrance, which led to yet another area. It was in that space between that I took an image from my dreams, of that mystery girl, and drew it on the wall. Recorded in drywall, in ink, for as long as that structure remained in that house.

3 nights later, I had another dream including the mystery girl. Only this time, just before waking, she turned around at the last possible second, and I saw her face. It was absolutely beautiful. Completely down to earth, but with a subtle beauty that any man or woman alike could feel okay bowing down to, should the situation ask for it. I couldn't believe it. I awoke, heart racing, and immediately I felt lost. I knew where I was, I just felt suddenly alone and confused. I had finally seen her, but before I could do anything, I had woken up. All that day I just made my way through my daily routine, in a daze, feeling melancholy though the hours. Then night finally came. I was up in my bedroom when the doorbell rang. My dad, who was downstairs, answered the door, and called to me to let me know I had visitors, and to come let them in if I wanted. I didn't really want to, not knowing who it was, or why they were there. I forced myself out of my state of self pity, and made my way downstairs, to the front door. Without really looking though the screen door first, I just opened it and stepped out into the crisp clean night air. I looked up to see my old friend, who I had seen at the restaurant only about two weeks earlier, and a man I'd never seen before. She introduced me to him as her boyfriend, and we shook hands. As we leaned a little closer, in order to shake hands, I first became aware of the third person there. She stepped out from behind him, and there she was. The girl from my dreams. In the flesh, just standing there, slightly crooked smile, pierced nostril, black curly hair which hung down to just below her shoulder blades, and with a subtle beauty, yet a powerful presence that left me dumbfounded. I nearly fell over, no joke, I really almost fell over. My old friend smiled, and her boyfriend took one look at the two of us, and he smiled too, and started laughing a bit, quietly. It took me a few moments to get the words together in my head, and then to get them out of my mouth before I invited them all inside. She managed to take all the facets of my life, and strip them all down, effectively making me who I am today. A person who is the same to everybody, regardless. I didn't have to create barriers between everybody anymore. I didn't have to worry about letting my guard down, or try to maintain little white lies, or even big dirty black ones. And she did that in no time at all. The rest is history.

I did take my dream girl to see the picture I had drawn from my dreams a few weeks later, and even she was taken back abit. I can't blame her, as most never believe me about much of anything I tell them, but she could tell I wasn't making it up, and that was wonderful.

A few years later, we ended up going our separate ways, and I said some things in the end that I shouldn't have. We haven't talked since then. But we shared something that I don't think can even come close to carbon copied. No redo's, no second chance, no new beginning. To this day I still think of her, regardless of what is going on, who I'm with, what I'm doing, or where I am. I can't help it. That was something I will never be able to rid my mind of., no matter how hard I have struggled to. I fear I will have trouble with any future relations, as I did with the one after her, because of just how amazing that experience was. For that time spent with her alone, I do not agree with the Bard, when he said that it is better to have loved once, than never to been loved before. If I could take it all back...I almost wish I could...

The one that got away.

I miss you.

Monday 27 April 2009

Monday.

Hey Y'all

It's still Monday. It's almost over in this time zone, but not for a few hours yet. Today kinda sucked. Okay, the day itself wasn't all that bad, but my mind wasn't so well off. I'll explain something here, just to get everyone up to speed. A few weeks ago I went off on a rant, and told everybody I talk to, on a daily basis anyway, to never tell me to have a good day again, or to think positively. You see, thinking positively doesn't work so well for me. It never has. I can't really call it bad luck, but the luck I experience is not usually good. On the plus side. it had made me expect the worst, as the worst is usually what happens to me. Okay, maybe not the absolute worst, but it rarely brings me anything positive, that I don't have to search for the so called "silver lining" anyway. By expecting the worst, it is always an awesome surprise when something good happens, although i still tend to take those things with a grain, or two, of salt. Normally when I have a truly good day, sometime in the following 24-48 hours, I have a bad day, that cancels out the good day. With that said, I'll move on.

I was talking with my Mom this morning, online, as usual. And when it was time for me to leave for work, she jokingly told me that she "I hope you don't have a good day!" I knew she was joking, and I went along with it. And then I got to the gas station that I go to when I don't make my own coffee. For the last several months, possibly the last couple of years, they had a deal gong for us, the drinkers of black caffeinated goodness. The deal was that you got a fresh baked doughnut when you bought any size coffee or a newspaper. However, that seems to have ended this morning. So I didn't get my doughnut. You see I only brought $1.40 with me, and the total came to $1.97. So oh well. They just lost a customer. I never get fuel for my car there, only fuel for myself. On the other hand, when I move, I wouldn't be stopping there during my morning commute anyway. The rest of the day just kinda went by. I wasn't in the most positive mood. And I realized that once I pay the two main bills I have to pay at this time of the month, I will have a whopping $13 left. Luckily I went grocery shopping, but still. No drinking and no smoking makes Dave go something something..... I'm sure I'll get by, but it's only Monday, and I have another 13 days until I get paid again. Good times! I am really looking forward to moving, as I will have plenty of money left over after I pay my bills! Now I just need to concern myself with surviving until that time comes! (Sorry Mom, I'm not trying to bring you down! I'm just sayin!)

TV really sucked tonight. With the exception of the new episode of House! That was good, but everything else is not calling out to me like a good show does. So I think I'm just going to get some reading in, and then hit the sack.

I hope everyone had a better day and mindset than I did! And that everyone got to hear that one song they were dying to hear! With that, I will stop.

Peace out y'all!

Sunday 26 April 2009

.....

Hey Y'all


This blog is just here because I feel like it.

Today was alright. I put that in here because of all the various suggestions I got from different people, and sometimes the same people over and over, that I should have a good day. I did watch something I rarely ever watch today. nascar. Yeah, that's right, I don't spell it in all capital letters. I understand that the cars raced are super powerful, and kinda fast and all. But today the race was in Talladega. And they showcased the reason I don't enjoy watching nascar. They kept panning the shots out around the area that holds the race track there. It is beautiful, hilly/mountainous, and filled with awesome trees. For some idiotic reason they decided to build an oval track there. What the hell is wrong with sanctioned american race track designers?! See, in all other countries that host racing events, the track isn't oval. They wind around, and change elevations, and sometimes the road is not concrete or asphalt. That is a real track to race on. Watching guys go around taking only left curves, that's right, curves not turns, is about as boring to me as watching golf on tv. Boring as hell. Racing in a straight line, or in an oval is not racing. Take a look at your local go cart race track the next time you get the chance, and you'll notice that it isn't an oval. We let little kids, who won't be licensed for another 10 years race around on figure 8 tracks, and tracks with both right and left turns, without banking in the turns, however adults in this country only drive in left had curves when they race bigger cars. And they have to bank the curves, so they don't fly off of them. Gee wiz. If they had built the track I saw on the television today through the forest and hills just outside the stadium, I'd be more inclined to watch the races.

In other news, there isn't much. I did some house work, and ate some food, and listened to some music, and watched some other television. I talked with a couple of people online, and did some shopping for food and toiletries. That's about it. Ah, lazy Sundays.

Now I'm about to get some shut eye, so I'm stopping posting this (peace out y'all) now.

Saturday 25 April 2009

Stormy Weekend

Hey y'all

It's raining and lightninging and thundering outside my window right now, and I like it! I suppose I shouldn't be on my computer during this, but hey, I spent the money to get good surge protectors, so I'm putting them to use. Right now I would like to watch some television, but even with cable, there ain't shit on! Oh well.

Last night I went drinking at my soon-to-be-home, and today I didn't really want to come home, but as my cat still lives here, I felt I should. I was hoping that I would have some good mail too, instead of bills. However when i checked my mailbox, I found it empty. I don't mind not getting bills in there once in a while, but I always think it's really strange when there isn't even so much as some notification for a sale on something I would never buy anyway. Again, oh well. Last night was fun though. It mainly consisted of playing video games (Tony Hawk), drinking, and listening to lots and lots of music. As the night passed, and the morning hours began, I tried going out to the living room to grab some sleep before the sun came up (which it did, but wasn't at all visible today). Instead of finding an open couch, I found the current house mates both on it. The male half was sleeping along one side, and his girlfriend was occupying the wraparound section. So much for sleeping. I sat up and talked with Tif for a couple hours before heading into the basement (which was freezing!!!!!). It was odd playing the outside observer of them getting kicked out, so I can move in. But I got through it pretty well. Tif and I have gotten along fine as for as long as I've known her. She is also able to see where Brent is coming from, and isn't harboring any malice towards him. So that's good. The odd part was when she reached out to hold my hand. It was weird, as I've not held anybody's hand in such a long time. That, and that her boyfriend was sleeping (I think), not more than 3 feet away. For once though, I wasn't the one with the cold hand, and now I know how my last few girlfriends have felt when holding my hand in theirs. Sorry to any, or all of them who may read this, really, I am! Anyway, it didn't last all that long, but it was still odd. Not uncomfortable, just odd. Shortly after that I headed to the basement, alone. Anything more than a hand hold could very well lead to a bad situation. Take that, alcohol induced lack of self control! I kicked your ass out the door, and kept my wits about me! This morning, I woke up, and my body seems to have adjusted for the odd time of going to bed, and still only allowed me just under 6 hours of sleep. It was about 10:45 a.m., and I was amazed to hear that Brent was awake as well! His girlfriend was there as well, as per usual on the weekends. We resumed playing the same video game, and Stephanie actually took it upon herself to make us omelets and french toast (which was a bit of an egg overkill, but good none the less!). I don't know where this girl came from, but I can certainly tell why Brent likes her so much. After eating, we continued playing for a few more hours, and then I headed back here. I can't wait until I can call that house home, and not have to leave on the weekends. Okay, I can wait, and I will!

Okay, enough rambling, I'll let you all refocus your eyes now. I hope everybody had a good start to the weekend, and that good music and good food will follow you through, and into tomorrow, and the next day, and so on!

Peace out y'all!

Friday 24 April 2009

About Oh Bugger's removal

Hey y'all,

I know a few of you read Oh Bugger. Only one person posted a comment, so i don't knwo how many people actually read it. I made the decision to remove the post because I don't really need the world knowing about certain things in my head, and life. I cannot put into words what I really wanted to say in that posting, so it came out sounding rather cheesy and somewhat childish. I was trying to relay to my sister that she isn't alone in dealing with some of life's challenges. She read it, so all I wanted to accomplish was done. Now I'm getting ready to head out to my future house, for a night of drinking, and a night of sleeping on a couch that is nice to fall asleep on, but not so nice when you wake up on it. But hey, I learned my lesson on drinking and driving, and I don't wish to take course two in that subject. Take care y'all, and have a good weekend!

Peace out!

Tuesday 21 April 2009

Wow, My 101st post, crazy

Hey Y'all!

I'm hungry right now, but not to worry, I have my oven preheating, and I have food waiting to go into said oven when it beeps! How's that for a start to my 101st post? Unfortunately, I'm currently going through a depressed phase. It hit me shortly after getting off the phone with my future housemate. I get to keep my cat, Marley, yay! And we discussed many plans for working on the house to make it even better. So why am I feeling down? Because that's what living with depression does. I'm not quite cry myself to sleep in a river, but I'm not quite tip toe through the tulips either. I am however being caressed by the wonderful sounds of Tori Amos...wait, never mind, the shuffle had changed that. But going back to Tori for a moment, what a fucking amazing pianist she is! I'll take her over most crap i hear on the radio these days, even if I do crank her in my car, and then turn her down when I'm stopped at an intersection... Silly me. Oh, now it's Tom Petty, singing "Here Comes My Girl", but I can't get into it right now, cause I ain't got a girl. Oh well. I just got a series of texts from my sister, so she could put my email address on her now privatized blog. The funny thing is, I was looking at her blog when she did that. Weird.

I guess that's all I wanted to say. If you didn't notice, I finally talked with Brent, and the move is on! I really am feeling a bit anxious. I need to worry about all the little things that go into moving, like forwarding my mail, and changing my billing address with all of the people that just love sending me bills every month, and finding a new bank, and so on and so on and so on...

Okay, time to put some food in the oven. Take care y'all, and peace out!




No, I didn't forget...good music and food for all, and I hope you all smiled at least once today!

Sunday 19 April 2009

Ideas at the Tip of My Mind

Hey y'all,

Today is Sunday, otherwise known in my world as the last day of the weekend. It's kinda chilly outside, and it's more than kinda rainy out there as well. I feel much calmer than I ever was on Friday, but that comes at a cost. A tad more annoying of a cost than the beginning of this weekend.

Last Friday started off similarly to half the Fridays in any given year. It wasn't payday. I did however have a plan to get some money. More specifically to get my own money back. You see, as I've stated many times before, I live paycheck to paycheck. Not by desire, but born from past mistakes, and a lack of foresight. Oh well, I'm trying to get by the best I can with what I've got. Well this last pay period, my bank played yet another of it's number games, and took $70 from me. All because of the computer program they use to crunch numbers to work in their favor. The real kicker this time is how they did it. There were a couple of pending payments waiting to go through. My payroll went through, and then the pending payments were made. But according to the computer, the pending payments had already been processed, even though payment had not been made to the vendors yet, so I got screwed out of two $35 charges. However, nothing at my end states that I ever was overdrawn. Even the statement I got from them clearly shows that I was never in the red. So on Friday, I took my statement to the bank. They showed me what I can never see at my end. How their computer system screwed me. This kinda sorta pissed me off. That, and the banker I was dealing with was talking to me like I was new to banking, and knew nothing. That alone gets me worked up all by itself. After leaving the bank, I went back to work and ate my cold sandwich with a scowl on my face, barely tasting what was probably a really tasty lunch. After work, I went to different bank and brought up the same issue, this time dealing with a manager, who thought that I was in the right, and I shouldn't have been charged. However, instead of dealing with me to the end, she passed it off to some other girl, who gave me a very disapproving look when I explained to her why I can't get overdraft protection. And then she denied me as well. When I got home, I checked my mail, and low and behold there was the overdraft notification waiting for me. So I called the corporate division of the bank, and explained everything, once again. I was put on hold for a bit, and then, you guessed it. I was denied once, twice and thrice. I lost, the bank 70, me 0.

I had been hoping to hang out with Brent that night, and again yesterday, but he didn't ever answer his phone, nor return either of my phone calls, or one voicemail. Once upon a time I would just trek over to peoples houses to see if they were home. These days, well actually for several years now, I don't do that. I find it rude. I will not show up someplace without getting an invitation first. Let alone if I don't even know if the person I want to see is home, even when I have an open invitation to show up when ever I want. So oh well, no steam blown off this weekend at all. Which brings me to today.

Today is more like autumn than spring. I love this kind of weather. The annoyance I have today is that I want to be creative, and build something, or at least work on my car a bit. However building anything takes money for supplies, and I have no monies with which to do such a thing. I could tweak a few things on my car, but I have no shelter, car port or garage to work on it without getting rain everywhere the rain shouldn't be in a car. So what did I do? Laundry. Yay. Now the laundry is done, and I'm feeling too wired to sit back and read. I was kinda hoping that during the duration of posting this, something would spark, and I would be able to end it by saying that I had something to run off and do. Alas, that did not happen, oh well. Maybe something will pop into my head at some point before I go to bed tonight, or maybe my phone will ring, and it won't be a family member, or work, or anybody that isn't somebody telling me to get off my ass and do something with them instead. Positive thinking really doesn't work that well for me, but maybe for once wishful thinking will come through. I'll just have to wait and see.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend, and that good music and good eats were had by all!

Until next time, peace out y'all!

Thursday 16 April 2009

Holy Moly What a Phone Call!

Hey Y'all!

Well I just got off the phone with my management company, who I called after getting off the phone with my closest friend Brent. You see, I had called Brent, just to see what he was up to this weekend, but as per usual he didn't answer his phone. Then, amazingly my phone started ringing about 10 seconds later, and it was Brent! He wanted to know how my car was doing, and I told him that it was doing well. Then he asked when my lease was up. I informed him that I had just recently turned in another year long lease agreement. He asked if I could get out of it. I told him I could try, and then asked why? It turns out that he is sick of his current roommates (housemates, as it's a house), and that neither of them has had a job in about a year, leaving him to pay everything, and feed them as well. He said that if I could get out of the lease extension, he will kick them out a bit faster, and have me move in, and only charge me $500 a month! Plus splitting the utilities, but still! I will get the basement, which will hold all of my stuff quite comfortably, yay, and I'd be able to grill again, yay, and there is a fire pit in the backyard as well, triple yay! Oh, did I mention I'd be able to grill again? So what did I do? I hung up with him, and called my management company. I explained the situation, and they saw no problem with that, as long as I'm out by May 31. No problem there! I'd be saving a boatload of money, oh, and I won't have to use any more quarters to wash and dry my clothes either! That alone will save me about $500 a year, so um, yay! Plus, I'd have a roommate that won't annoy the shit outta me, nor I him. What a deal!

Oh right, I said I'd post some pic's from Easter Weekend, aka my Parent's anniversary/my Sister's birthday. As far a pic's of people go, there's only one, and it's me and my sis, because I don't like be photographed, or taking photographs of people. Anyway, here goes...







Me and my Sister both rocking our Cub's hat's, unplanned!!!








A sight I wasn't sure when I'd ever see again!





I love the diversity of the plant life around my parent's house, unfortunately some of the better shots are interrupted by power lines and stuff.







Some kind of Warbler I think.



Birds much larger than Warblers! You should have seen the awesomeness of this abnormal flock of birds in action!

Okay, that's all I have to share with you for now. I hope you enjoyed. Well the Cubs lost to the damn Cardinals today, boo! So I think I'm going to go open a beer and proceed to cry into it. Okay, maybe not cry into it, but...well you know what I mean. There's always tomorrow!

Peace out y'all! And good music, food and laughs for all!

Monday 13 April 2009

What a Weekend!

Hey Y'all!

I am back home in IL now, and none worse for the wear! It was a fabulous weekend indeed! I had a "Mom" moment while trying to grill up the stuffed pork chops on Saturday night, but they turned out quite well, so yay! And because of that, and my awesome family's wackiness, they got me from the bottom of my depression, right up to the happy end in only about 20 minutes! Good job Mom, Dad and Booger Brain! Then, on Sunday evening, we met up with a couple of old friends (old according to meeting, not so much of age), Nate and Kali, (thanks to having read my sister's blog before posting this I know how to spell her name, thanks BB!) at the Melting Pot. That was sooo damn good! We had no awkward silences, well at least no longer than it took for everybody to look at whoever just made an odd statement, and then for everybody to start laughing! There was a disappearing shrimp, that I think my sister may have accidentally transported to Denmark with her magic, and there was also a flaming desert... That's right, kinda like flaming cheese, but it was flaming chocolate instead, and holy sweet mother of sweet goodness, all I can say is WOW! (and start drooling all over again) I don't have much of a sweet tooth anymore, but holy moley was that some good stuff!

I'd like to take a moment here to once again congratulate my parents on their 34th anniversary, and wish my sister a happy 33rd birthday!

Today, before trekking back home, my Mom took me grocery shopping, so I'll be able to eat for a couple of days! Thanks again Mom!!! I was also able to make use of their washer and dryer, and got all of my clothes cleaned, all 5 loads (it would have been more like 8 loads in the machines in this apartment building)! And now I can see the floor in my bedroom again! Whoo hoo! So all in all it was a great weekend, and it was really nice to spend it with my family! I love my crazy family! Yes, we are all certifiably nuts! It's more fun (aka: funner) that way!

I was going to post about some other things going through my head in this post, but I think I'll just say this: I had a set of dreams last night (one that woke me up, and when I fell asleep again, it was more or less the same setting, and everyone involved was still in it, and they all knew what had happened in the first dream) that reminded me of how wonderful the sensation of having the warmth and laughter and love of a woman is. I miss it a lot, a whole lotta lot. Okay, enough said.

I hope everyone had as great of a weekend as I did, even if you didn't get a 3 day weekend like me! I hope everyone ate well at least once this weekend, and that laughter and good music filled at least a few hours in their weekends!

Peace out y'all!

P.S. I did get some pictures this weekend too, but I'm now feeling lazy, and don't feel like getting up to grab my camera, so I'll post them later! I know at least one of you wants to see them, but you'll just have to be patient!

Friday 10 April 2009

Me, My Own Enemy

Hey y'all!

I have a problem, I love driving. I am afflicted with a passion for driving. It's almost as bad as my addiction to music. The only thing worse is the combination of driving and music. I need to travel. I need to wander. I need to be free. I need to be me. To be me I need to drive. I am driven to drive. It's in my blood. It's in my soul. When I dream I fly, but more often I drive. I am a Driver. The VW ad "Drivers' Wanted" would have gotten me to drive a VDub for the first time, except that I already owned one. I do however have a winter beanie that has a VW logo on one side, and the tag "Drivers Wanted" on another. I wear it proudly. I don't care if you drive a German car, or a Japanese car, or a Swedish car, or a British car, or any car that came from another country but was assembled in Guatemala. The point is that you must know how to drive your car. Know it's dimensions, know how it handles, know how fast it can stop, know it's turning radius, and most of all, learn how to use your damn turn signal!!!

Now then, some of you might be wondering what the title of this post has to do with what I've posted so far. Here it goes, re-read the first paragraph and figure it out for yourself. If you can't figure it out now, then stay the fuck off the roads. All of them, paved or otherwise. I don't care if your stupid (I mean your inability to read a bloody map) GPS tells you the road isn't there, stay off of it anyway! If you can't manage to get your car to do what you want it to do, you need not drive. I don't care what grade you got in whatever form of drivers ed you took, if you can't drive your car, turn the key to the off position, wait fro traffic to clear, step out of your car, call a tow truck to tow it back to your garage (or where ever it is you park it at night), and don't get back into it until you learn what driving actually means. For the love of clear roads and the lack of traffic fatalities, don't get back into your car until you know what driving actually is!!!!!!! Until then, I will continue to be my worst own enemy, and force myself to drive on the same roads as all the fucking imbeciles that have drivers licenses (and how they got them I fear to ask).

I would like to post something normal, but I think I'll stop here. That was what I wanted to say, and if it pissed you off, and/or if you took offense to it, then piss off. When you are done trying to defend your shitty driving ability, find a wide open parking lot, with no other cars in it, and not too many lamp posts, and learn how to drive your car, before you ever get out on the open road again! And if you can't do that, then I hope you have enough money to stay at home and order delivery. Or that you live close enough to a food market that you can walk to it.

P.S.: PEDESTRIANS have the RIGHT OF WAY AT A CROSSWALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It does not matter how slick, or fast your car or van is, the walkers have the right of way you dumb ass!

Tuesday 7 April 2009

Ah, Night 2 of the '09 Season

Hey y'all!

As some of you may know, the Cub's won their first game of the season last night, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Soriano, in a spectacular fashion, hit the second pitch of the game to left center field at the Astro Dome, oh right the orange juice park... for a HOMERUN!, which is not that easy to do! And not long after that, Ramirez crushed one to left field for another HOMERUN! Yeah baby! GO CUBS GO!!!

Okay, I'm not a sports reporter, and I won't pretend to be, but I am a Cub's fan through and through! There was a time wayyyyyyyyyyyy back when, when I was nothing but a small child (even though I was taller than all my class mates/enemies back then, as I am today), that I was just a baseball fan. I did like both the Chicago teams. However, in 4th grade I got 2 tickets for a game on the south side, for perfect attendance and good grades and stuff. But back then, the south side was a bit scarier than it is today, and my Dad didn't want to leave his car unattended for a few hours. I can't blame him for that. But what that ultimately led to, was dropping the southside team, and rooting for no team but the Cubbies! And the Bulls, but it's baseball season, so it's the Cub's baby! (I know the other b-ball season isn't quite over yet, but come on, the Cub's are playing!)

Enough on that, as the game is on right now, and while I was posting about them, they went down in order in the top of the first, so I won't curse it anymore.

So I talked with another old friend I hadn't talked with in years today on FB, Amy. She asked if I still lived in Boxwood. HA, hell no! I may be struggling a bit here in "Liberty"ville, but I will never wish I was back in that hood. It may have taught me some lessons in life I may not have learned otherwise, and for that I am thankful, but I won't be going back to that kinda hood if I can at all avoid it! It was cool talking with Amy though, and I would give her a proper shout out, but she knows not about my blog, so I won't!

Work was crazy this morning. It took me an hour to fill just one of the school orders we got yesterday. It was huge! But amazingly, everything showed up, so I didn't have to mark out anything on it! That is quite amazing, as it was a $1,200+ order. I think that particular school spent everything they had left in their supply budget on that one order. You see, for that district, if they don't spend the budget by the end of the year, any money left over just disappears, and doesn't get rolled over to the next year's budget. Whacky as that may be, that's the way it is.

Anyway, enough about work.

I've been eating eggs for dinner this week, and tonight I want hard boiled eggs, but I'm still not entirely sure how to make them. How odd is that? I have a basic idea, but still. I know that's not quite a meal, but as I'm not really that hungry tonight, and I want hard boiled eggs, I see no problem with it...and neither should you! So there! On the topic of food, I am now afraid that I will totally dry out the pork chops I'll be grilling on Saturday. I fear this because I haven't had the opportunity to cook ANYTHING AT ALL on a grill in years, and that is really depressing for me :( But I will try my best not to dry them out, really really really try my best! Until then, eggs it is. I can do eggs (on the stove top, not so much on the grill).

Okay, enough is enough. Oh, and I've run out of things to post about (not really, but let's pretend that I have, okay?). I hope you've all had a good Tuesday, and that you've all heard at least one good song today, laughed once today, and had something tasty to eat today as well!

Peace out y'all!

Saturday 4 April 2009

Still Single, About to Surpass My Old Record

Hey y'all!

I'll do my best not to make this post depressing. No really, I will. Fine, don't believe me, whatever (or "whatevz" as some girl I just viewed on a personals site ended her profile with).

It hasn't been a full 3 years of living alone quite yet (only about 2 years and 10 months), but as far as being single goes, it's been over 3 years. My last record was from the early onset of winter in 1994 until fall of 1997 (oh wait, I guess I have already surpassed my previous record, damn). This is very much officially getting to me. I can't watch a movie or TV show without seeing couples, married or otherwise, or at least some character that for no seemingly good reason gets all the girls that pass by him. Okay, so that is mainly the script writers, but I've seen this happen in real life too, so it still annoys me. I don't want every girl I pass everyday, that phase ended about a year and a half ago. Now I just want half the girls I pass everyday... Okay, that's not entirely true, but closer to true than I'd like. Just today for example, I went out for a bit, just to get my ass off the couch for a while. It seemed that I got checked out by all the women who were with a man, and didn't get so much as a glance from the "single" ones. What the hell is up with that?! As though the female species didn't confuse me enough, sheesh!

I digress. As part of my out of apartment experience today, I made use of my basketball, by stopping at a local park. It's a nice park, nice green fields, beautifully maintained baseball diamonds, a wonderfully paved(?) tennis court, and a soccer pitch that looked as though winter wasn't here recently. Then there was the basketball "court". The rims were horribly uneven, the pavement looked like the asphalt was just kinda dropped out of the back of a truck and then smoothed out by drunken elephants. I may not be the worlds best basketball player, but what a joke! I'm sure that anybody watching from the back porches and windows of the houses that line that part of the park got a great laugh if they watched me shoot around for a bit. It was still nice to get out and active, although my body wasn't too keen about it. It would have been better to have somebody to shoot around with, but that's cool. I've gotten uncomfortably used to doing every last thing I ever do alone anymore. Oh, right, I digressed already... I'm sure my arm and upper back are gonna feel great when I wake up tomorrow! But it was good to get the blood pumping, and some fresh air in my lungs. And it's a good thing I did it today, because tomorrow it's not supposed to get above 33 degrees, and there might be some...you guessed it, more snow. Yippe Kiyay motor plucker (I did actually here that while watching a Die Hard movie on a non cable channel a few years back)!

I just had a funny thought. I could get a leash for Marley, and take him to the local dog park. It may cause all kinds of havoc among the canine population, but I might just meet some quirky and cute (and single) woman, hee hee hee. Okay, maybe that's an idea better kept in my head than acted upon. And Marley just shot me an evil look, as though he knew what I was thinking...

I could continue to go on, but then I would probably be interrupted by blogspot, to tell me that I had just taken up all the online memory, and nobody else would be able to save their own posts tonight. So instead of attempting that, I think I'll just go back to channel surfing, and hope for sleepiness to kick in soon. Thanks for reading, and I hope you all had a good Saturday! Until next time.

Peace out y'all!

P.S. I told you it wouldn't be too depressing!

Friday 3 April 2009

Hungry, Lonely, Bored and Broke (Happy Friday!)

Hey y'all

I just deleted a ramble like no other. Yes, you can thank me for sparing you. However, as the title of this implies, I am in fact all of those things right now. And it is in fact Friday, well it's Friday here in this part of our planet, according to our numbers and time zones, and the fact that we have those time zones has only to do with world trade of the one thing I have none of at the moment.

I read a funny story this morning while I was eating some cereal. Domino's messed up, and a regular American civilian found something online, randomly, and Domino's had to give away 11,000 medium 1-topping pizzas! Ha, suckers! That's what you get when you are money hungry bastards that don't bother to pay people who know what the hell they are doing, and only pay people that are so delusional with money that they have forgotten about what the average person, like us, is all about. I miss the minimal amount of money I made slinging pizzas for them, but I sure as hell don't miss the corporate bs!

If all went as planned today, around noon, I had lunch with my Mom! Okay, so it was about 200 miles away, and we didn't speak, but we may have had the same thing, Clam Chowder, or if you want to be picky about it, New England Clam Chowdah. Mine was quite tasty. But now I'm hungry again, which is no good because it's only ten to 6 p.m. right now, and the night is young. Meaning my hunger will only get bigger as the time passes, uninterrupted and uninteresting. But at least I had a tasty lunch this afternoon! I am really looking forward to being with my family next weekend (sadly not this weekend, but hey)! On Saturday I said I'd help prepare dinner. And this morning I suggested stuffed pork chops on the grill. I was rather taken aback when my Mom told me that she'd never cooked them in such a fashion before! I do believe I will show her how it's done when I'm up there, hee hee. Oh to use a grill again, even if it's not mine! Geez, now my stomach is rumbling at the thought. I guess I'll end this here, and go into basement, and spend some quality time just staring at my dusty grill :(

Peace out y'all, and a good weekend to all! (Even those who have to work during it!)

Wednesday 1 April 2009

Pics of the deceiving "Heart Attack" snow storm

Here are a few pics from last weekends snow storm.



It was beautiful.


The tree's looked amazing, as though touched by a snow goddess...


a somewhat disgruntled snow goddess...


As the sign implies...STOP (aka fin, the end, finish, that's all folks!)!

What a Day (and weekend)

Hey y'all! Long time no blog!

Although I've received more responses to the second to last post (and thankyou to those who did, but unless y'all know how my mind works, and what I've been through, you might not know why I see hitting rock bottom as the only way out sometimes, but I won't dwell on that), some of you know what happened after taking the advice of the one true anonymous commenter, and posting a somewhat "happy" blog on Saturday. After posting that blog, the rest of the day went well, until I fell asleep. Then all hell broke loose in my neck of the woods. A particularly nasty snow storm hit, dropping only a few inches of "heart attack" snow, and knocking out power to my surrounding area. After about 14 hours of no power (at least I recently got a music phone, so I didn't go into delirious tremors due to a lack of music), I called Com Ed, and found out that they didn't know we had no power! Then, about 20 minutes later, I heard my microwave make a pathetic little bleep, which scared the hell outta my cat, causing him to leap rather ungraciously to the floor in the kitchen, and the power came back on! I whooped at the top of my lungs, using the pipes I was graced with (although I'm sure nobody in the surrounding blocks of my old hood enjoyed hearing my Mom and I have yelling matches when I was a teen), but as I was in the middle of a great book, I neglected to turn on the TV or my computer for a while yet.

When I did turn on my computer, I discovered that the power outage had killed my network, and my router. But now, as you may have noticed, I am back up and running, er, blogging! It only took a few days to get back, but here I am! In the down time, the Bull's suffered a couple of hard loses, as did the Cub's, but at least they're still in Spring Training so their games don't count yet. In any case, thanks to you anonymous one, I posted a good blog, and my world got turned upside down in less than 24 hours. All I can say to you is that I fart in your general direction! Nanner nanner nanner! And now I will gallop away, on foot, clopping coconut halves together!

So anyhoo, what a day at work today. I tend to dislike the beginning of the month. Not to mention that it's a new quarter, so pricing has all changed one way or another. But as for the beginning of the month, that always means that I suddenly get slammed with all kinds of returns to go through. In one way it' nice because that takes a lot of time, and the clock moves a little quicker. On the down side, being in such a crappy financial situation, I burn off the calories I get from breakfast in about 5 minutes and I end up starving my skinny ass off for hours until lunch, and then I get a very small lunch, meaning that I am hungry again in an hour or less. And inevitably, like today, I have nothing to eat for dinner. I could make yet another sandwich, however that would take away my lunch tomorrow, so I won't be doing that. Darn. How I crave to drag my grill outta storage, and have some meats and veggies to cook on it :(

In other news, I got my new payment schedule from my car insurance company today, and my rates are going up!!! Only by $3 per month, but still! So I called them. As it turns out, being a resident of Illinois, I'm not alone. Everybody's rate's are going up, to help pay for things that do not, and will not apply to me! Just because other people suck doesn't mean that I should have to pay for their ignorance and/or impatience!!!!!!!! And the really crappy part is that the insurance companies didn't hatch this evil plan, as I would have suspected, the damn state government did! Not cool yo, not cool at all! I also turned in my lease renewal today, for my apartment of course. I asked if they had any cheaper apartments before I signed it and turned it over, but alas the only ones they have to offer are way farther away, and as my car takes the premium fuel only, I just can't afford a longer drive to work these days. So I signed another year of my life away, once again. Could be worse though, so I guess I won't bitch too much, about that at least, hee hee.

Oh yeah, yesterday I got the latest courses book from CLC (College of Lake County), and they now offer both automotive repair (body, engine, and electrical) certificate courses, and heating and cooling courses(whoohoo!), the classes for what I've wanted to do for years now, are only offered while I'm at work. The classes for what I don't at all want to do are offered at night, go figure. I'm still keeping a look out though. I'm still not convinced that school is really the route to go, and an apprenticeship would be better, for me anyway. But a bad spine rules out most apprenticeships, even the ones that are offered to "newbies" like me. One of these days I'll find something, but for now I'll keep trying to tell my stomach not to give up on me quite yet!

I am really looking forward to seeing my family in a week and a half! Oh, I may not be able to afford much more than a card this year guy and gals of my family, but I hope being able to be up there will be enough this go around! I love you guys! Oh, and Chantelle, I am soooo looking forward to meeting you for lunch on my way home that Monday! Sorry Lisa, not sure if you are taking your birthday off or not, but I made plans on that day. If you are taking it off, maybe we can do breakfast or something earlier that day! It's been about 12 years since the last time Chantelle and I chilled. Too long if you ask me!

Well I am going to settle in for a night of the SciFi channel (new Ghost Hunters, yay!), and hope to that sleep finds me more quickly tonight than the last couple.

Peace out y'all, and as always, good music and eats for all!!!