Well, as it's Saturday night, I plainly made it through Friday! It wasn't the most enjoyable Friday I've had, but here I am the next day!!! I spent a little bit of time earlier today, hanging out with my crazy neighbor, Jessica. The first time she stopped by she brought her old friend (who's name I don't remember, because I'm really bad with names:( ) from WI. Jessica was a kid there for an undetermined amount of time. Then later she came back, and chilled with me while watching episodes of CSI on dvd. Then I shared an aspect of my life with her, and she left in a rather uncomfortable manner. She is plainly not the one for me. Sexy as hell? Yes. A Keeper, not so much. And as I'm not one for one night stands, or flings, I guess my libido will have to wait even longer to get it's satisfaction, damn...
I did get to see an episode of Dr. Who tonight, School Reunion, and I must say, HOORAY FOR GOOD OLD FASHION BROADCAST TV!!!! Yeah, it sucks not having cable. No mythbusters, or Cash Cab, or Dr Who (on a regular basis, or any new episodes for that matter...), no anything on Discovery Channel or Spike, or SciFi or anything :( I suppose I'll live, but holy sweet mother of boredom, this sucks!
So I got paid yesterday, and I am totally broke anyway. My bank, which isn't really my bank, because my bank was bought out by "Bank of America", has a policy that LaSalle never had, and screwed me over worse than LaSalle ever did. So for the next... well I would say the next two weeks, but I should really say the next several months, I am unable to buy groceries, or cat food, or cat litter. Let alone my vices of cigarrettes or beer. The beer I can go without. However, without having anything to do, or anybody to hang out with (aka, any distractions) not having cigs is not a good thing. I want to quit on my own terms, not because I can't afford anything. It's one thing to not have enough money to smoke, but when you have no money to buy food, it's a slightly worse situation. Everybody else is psyched about the tree day weekend. I am not psyched, because I can't use my grill, let alone go buy anything to put on my grill even if I could use it. Oh hell, I used the last of my milk this morning, so I'll be eating dry cereal tomorrow morning, yay! At least I got to see an episode of Dr. Who tonight:)
Well I am going to call it a night, and go to sleep soon. I hope the day when I don't have to bitch about how I am struggling comes soon. I hate that the people I care about have to read about my strife, but I don't yet know how to stop this crap. One day though, I promise you, I will figure something out, and when that happens, I will have more cheery things to blog about! I swear! Until then, I bid you all a good night, and I love you all (well most of you anyway:))
Hey Booger Brain, thanks for listening to my bs for the last couple of days! I promise that I will not cry on your shoulder so much that it starts to dissolve! I love you!
Saturday 30 August 2008
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Almost Friday.....almost...
Well i haven't posted in a couple of days. My apologies to anyone who bothers checking. The last few days have been, um, so-so. Not much of real interest happened. I had to borrow money from my boss a couple days ago, just so I could eat. Today I actually was able to bring "lunch" to work, albeit a simple half of a ham and cheese on a sub roll, and a juice box, but hey, that's still more than I've had to eat at work in several days, so yay. My bank has charged me even more, boo. I am currently trying to read Travels, by Michael Chichton. It's an autobiography, which is really not at all what I like to read, even if I like the person. It's all about his travels after he quit medical school at Harvard. It's a fairly interesting read, but the main reason I'm struggling with it, is because it deals with traveling. I NEED TO TRAVEL BEFORE I GO INSANE!!! No really, I do. It's a condition. But no gas money, no food money, no hotel/motel...let alone camp site hold money, means no traveling for me :( I've been sober for a couple days now. Although I crave a drink now and then, I'm doing pretty well, except I'm even more bored than ever now. I'm trying to figure out how to find a new job, without taking a pay cut, but that's not going very well, as I have no degree in anything, and can't bother applying for a loan to go back to school for anything, so still looking. Stupid bad back, arrgg... Well I'm going to try and get some sleep now. I feel kinda tired, so it seems like the logical thing to do! I hope everyone is doing well!
Sunday 24 August 2008
arrg, banks
I was shocked, well not really, when I logged into my bank this morning, to see how much they've taken from me this weekend. If I had to guesstimate, I'd say that over the years I've been at my current bank, they've taken almost a full years salary from me. No wonder these banks can make such ginormous merges and make buyouts possible. If they've taken that much money from me, i can only imagine how much they've made from everybody else in my position all over this country. That's sick and wrong. Then there's always credit card companies, even worse.
Lisa, have you found your ring yet?
Lisa, have you found your ring yet?
Saturday 23 August 2008
Self Exam (go screw yourself Freud:)
There have been many times in my "young" life that I have pondered my own worth, and self being. For I have been offered so much free time by those who dared to call me "friend" over the years. Mostly I have afforded myself ample free time, just by the way the humanity around me, anywhere I have gone, has astounded and sickened my core self, in an amazing display of synchronicity. There was one post I wrote, very early on in this blog, that I chose to delete. It was a true glimpse into how my reasoning of my current self came to be. I decided to erase it from easily viewed record, because of one thought. How dare I share my past with everyone whom has their own past, whether or not theirs was one of struggle or ease. Although I felt slightly better having shared some of where I came from with the masses (although very few people have read every post I've left), I felt a bit guilty for having subjected anybody to my mind.
I am sitting here, writing this, while listening to the Beatles album LOVE!, smoking a brand of cigarettes, on which the packaging has a signature of the woman who designed the print on the box, and looking occasionally out of my closed window at the people who drive in and out of the parking lot (people watching), and wondering how most of them can afford to go out and spend hours out there in the wild, before returning, seemingly sane. Part of me wishes that I had a social life again, while my subconscious mind screams ever so quietly that I know I want nothing to do with those things "they" do. I tend to complain about how ultimately bored I am, alas, I also know the reason why as well, which saddens and bores me all at the same time. The reason is this, once I have comprehended, and understood a thing, anything at all, it immediately bores me. I no longer care to do it anymore, at all, in the least. Point in example, I have amassed a decent sized collection of DVDs, because I love movies, but when I'm bored and scan over the spines of the movie cases, looking at each individual title, my mind recalls what happened in the movie, why and how it happened, and the conclusion of the story, and I no longer need to see the movie again. The same goes for most of the books residing on my bookcase. I have observed over and over and over again, that most people's minds don't work that way, or maybe they just don't allow themselves to think/feel that way. I so often feel very sorry for my cat, because I can feel how extraoridinarilly simple his life is, and can only imagine how bored any creature kept in a "cage" must be. Seriously, as human animals, we have to go out everyday and worry about things like work, and driving, and paying bills, and paying for food, and friends, as well as enemies, and so on and so on and so on....etc.. But an animal kept in a house, or a zoo, or any form of an observation setting, can't do anything on that level. Nor should they, but damn, it's really gotta suck for them. At least dogs get to go out to be walked, but most of us biped animals, always put them on leashes, immediately disallowing them to be "dogs". Do we do that for the dog's protection, or because we are afraid that if we don't, the dog will meet some harm, by another biped? Or do we do that, because our feelings would be so hurt if the dog ran away to do it's thing, and never came back to offer us a wet nose on the back of our hand, when we're not paying them enough attention? Do we leash them simply because we wouldn't be able to handle them leaving us for somebody else? Enough on that train...
I am so bored
Yesterday, I had one of the rare "good days", yet I never posted why. In the back of my mind, I knew why I wasn't going to. It was because it was one of the acutely rare days I get, and I wasn't going to spoil it for myself. I just wanted to enjoy it, and let it wash through me and myself, and not share it with the world. A moment of selfishness on my part, I know. You must understand though, I get a day like that about once every four or five years, and I wasn't going to let it go. I knew what was coming the next day, so why spoil it so completely by posting it for everyone to see?
I was woken for the second time this morning by a most unwanted ringing of my phone. The first wake up call, was by my cat, who wanted to be fed, and have his water bowl refreshed, which I was more or less happy to oblige, at 5:45 this morning. The next call came at 9:43 a.m., from a bill collector, asking me to write a $2,327 check, or pay by credit card. I simply told him that if I had $2,000, he wouldn't be calling me, and hung up. Welcome to Saturday morning. I know I am the one who got myself into this mess. No really, I know. The thing that burns my buttons, is that I can't afford to pay the first time around, and the creditors can make a $10 minimum payment, and turn it into a $100 minimum payment. As though I didn't make the $10 payment because I thought it would be fun not to. And then, take that $100 minimum payment a $2,000+ minimum payment. FUN!!! I never understood how money worked when I was a kid. I knew we didn't have a lot of it, but I was never taught how to scrimp and save. I find myself telling the youngun's that still live with their parents, and have no bills to pay, to save as much money as I can before they head out into the real world. I wish i had been taught that when I was of that age, when i had no bills or responsibility. I feel like a prick every time I tell somebody that, but I do it anyway, just in case nobody else has told them that before me. It sickens me how much being alive revolves around money. Isn't the saying something along the lines of money can't/won't buy you love? I think it shouldn't be the thing that buys you peace of mind either. Often times I listen to bands that I like, and their songs talk about love and loss and happiness, but then I remember that these people have loads of money, and mostly have lost touch with their roots, when maybe they didn't have the ability to afford to be so cut off. And then I stop the music...the day the music died, so to say.
I went to pick up an application at another pizza parlor today. I filled it out, and I plan on dropping it off tomorrow or Monday. They aren't currently hiring drivers, but what the hell. I feel trapped in this money game. I read a book once or five times, when I was a kid. It's title is My Side of the Mountain. I loved that book even then, before I had any problems like I do as an adult. I would envy the indigenous people of this land, but even though they still try to live off the land, our lovely government screwed them over, and continue to do so to this very day, that even they have had to tip their hands and take up the money game. That is wrong on so many levels. I could just as easily join an occult, not one of the bad ones mind you. I suppose you could call the occults I speak of communes, if that would make you feel better. However, I am trapped by my bills, and would have to pay all of them off before I could make such a move. it may have been easier to do a decade or two ago, but Big Brother is in full swing, and it ain't going away anytime soon. What that boils down to, is simply this, if I made a move like that, they would hunt me down and trow me in prison for longer than I'd ever want to be, for tax evasion. How is this the best government in the world? Here's a real kicker for y'all. I put an Advertisement at the bottom of my blog. It's one that reads what you've written about, and applies appropriate advertisement. Well i checked it today, and it's for government grants, yay. The kick in my ass comes in the small print, I am not allowed to click on the own ads on my blog, without punishment of several of thousands of dollars, go fucking figure. Gotta love the small print!
I wish I could say that I love everything, and everyone, but the truth is that I love very little, and very few. Most people are to put off by me, just by me being me. I know my Family loves me, and a couple of people "like" me, but all in all, it's not that much, and barely enough to scrape by on. The worst of it all, is that I placed myself here, by my own admission, because I wanted to. Oh, well. At least I get to see an episode of Dr. Who on the boob tube tonight! Later, y'all, thanks to the one or two of you that may have made it through this whole thing. Lisa, i love you, and I really think that your ring is closer than you think, keep looking!
Until tomorrow, I bid you all adieu! Peace!
I am sitting here, writing this, while listening to the Beatles album LOVE!, smoking a brand of cigarettes, on which the packaging has a signature of the woman who designed the print on the box, and looking occasionally out of my closed window at the people who drive in and out of the parking lot (people watching), and wondering how most of them can afford to go out and spend hours out there in the wild, before returning, seemingly sane. Part of me wishes that I had a social life again, while my subconscious mind screams ever so quietly that I know I want nothing to do with those things "they" do. I tend to complain about how ultimately bored I am, alas, I also know the reason why as well, which saddens and bores me all at the same time. The reason is this, once I have comprehended, and understood a thing, anything at all, it immediately bores me. I no longer care to do it anymore, at all, in the least. Point in example, I have amassed a decent sized collection of DVDs, because I love movies, but when I'm bored and scan over the spines of the movie cases, looking at each individual title, my mind recalls what happened in the movie, why and how it happened, and the conclusion of the story, and I no longer need to see the movie again. The same goes for most of the books residing on my bookcase. I have observed over and over and over again, that most people's minds don't work that way, or maybe they just don't allow themselves to think/feel that way. I so often feel very sorry for my cat, because I can feel how extraoridinarilly simple his life is, and can only imagine how bored any creature kept in a "cage" must be. Seriously, as human animals, we have to go out everyday and worry about things like work, and driving, and paying bills, and paying for food, and friends, as well as enemies, and so on and so on and so on....etc.. But an animal kept in a house, or a zoo, or any form of an observation setting, can't do anything on that level. Nor should they, but damn, it's really gotta suck for them. At least dogs get to go out to be walked, but most of us biped animals, always put them on leashes, immediately disallowing them to be "dogs". Do we do that for the dog's protection, or because we are afraid that if we don't, the dog will meet some harm, by another biped? Or do we do that, because our feelings would be so hurt if the dog ran away to do it's thing, and never came back to offer us a wet nose on the back of our hand, when we're not paying them enough attention? Do we leash them simply because we wouldn't be able to handle them leaving us for somebody else? Enough on that train...
I am so bored
Yesterday, I had one of the rare "good days", yet I never posted why. In the back of my mind, I knew why I wasn't going to. It was because it was one of the acutely rare days I get, and I wasn't going to spoil it for myself. I just wanted to enjoy it, and let it wash through me and myself, and not share it with the world. A moment of selfishness on my part, I know. You must understand though, I get a day like that about once every four or five years, and I wasn't going to let it go. I knew what was coming the next day, so why spoil it so completely by posting it for everyone to see?
I was woken for the second time this morning by a most unwanted ringing of my phone. The first wake up call, was by my cat, who wanted to be fed, and have his water bowl refreshed, which I was more or less happy to oblige, at 5:45 this morning. The next call came at 9:43 a.m., from a bill collector, asking me to write a $2,327 check, or pay by credit card. I simply told him that if I had $2,000, he wouldn't be calling me, and hung up. Welcome to Saturday morning. I know I am the one who got myself into this mess. No really, I know. The thing that burns my buttons, is that I can't afford to pay the first time around, and the creditors can make a $10 minimum payment, and turn it into a $100 minimum payment. As though I didn't make the $10 payment because I thought it would be fun not to. And then, take that $100 minimum payment a $2,000+ minimum payment. FUN!!! I never understood how money worked when I was a kid. I knew we didn't have a lot of it, but I was never taught how to scrimp and save. I find myself telling the youngun's that still live with their parents, and have no bills to pay, to save as much money as I can before they head out into the real world. I wish i had been taught that when I was of that age, when i had no bills or responsibility. I feel like a prick every time I tell somebody that, but I do it anyway, just in case nobody else has told them that before me. It sickens me how much being alive revolves around money. Isn't the saying something along the lines of money can't/won't buy you love? I think it shouldn't be the thing that buys you peace of mind either. Often times I listen to bands that I like, and their songs talk about love and loss and happiness, but then I remember that these people have loads of money, and mostly have lost touch with their roots, when maybe they didn't have the ability to afford to be so cut off. And then I stop the music...the day the music died, so to say.
I went to pick up an application at another pizza parlor today. I filled it out, and I plan on dropping it off tomorrow or Monday. They aren't currently hiring drivers, but what the hell. I feel trapped in this money game. I read a book once or five times, when I was a kid. It's title is My Side of the Mountain. I loved that book even then, before I had any problems like I do as an adult. I would envy the indigenous people of this land, but even though they still try to live off the land, our lovely government screwed them over, and continue to do so to this very day, that even they have had to tip their hands and take up the money game. That is wrong on so many levels. I could just as easily join an occult, not one of the bad ones mind you. I suppose you could call the occults I speak of communes, if that would make you feel better. However, I am trapped by my bills, and would have to pay all of them off before I could make such a move. it may have been easier to do a decade or two ago, but Big Brother is in full swing, and it ain't going away anytime soon. What that boils down to, is simply this, if I made a move like that, they would hunt me down and trow me in prison for longer than I'd ever want to be, for tax evasion. How is this the best government in the world? Here's a real kicker for y'all. I put an Advertisement at the bottom of my blog. It's one that reads what you've written about, and applies appropriate advertisement. Well i checked it today, and it's for government grants, yay. The kick in my ass comes in the small print, I am not allowed to click on the own ads on my blog, without punishment of several of thousands of dollars, go fucking figure. Gotta love the small print!
I wish I could say that I love everything, and everyone, but the truth is that I love very little, and very few. Most people are to put off by me, just by me being me. I know my Family loves me, and a couple of people "like" me, but all in all, it's not that much, and barely enough to scrape by on. The worst of it all, is that I placed myself here, by my own admission, because I wanted to. Oh, well. At least I get to see an episode of Dr. Who on the boob tube tonight! Later, y'all, thanks to the one or two of you that may have made it through this whole thing. Lisa, i love you, and I really think that your ring is closer than you think, keep looking!
Until tomorrow, I bid you all adieu! Peace!
Thursday 21 August 2008
son of a two faced jackal
I got a call on the work line this morning. It was from Citibank, Radioshack division. I was told that my minimum payment of, $192.38, is 51 days past due, and I owe payment immediately. Funny, I am still on a payment plan with them, where they take money out of my account every month, which is supposed to stop next month. When i informed the caller of this, I was told that that payment plan has nothing to do with my past due bill....?! The point of the plan was to take care of my "over the limit, PAST DUE bill", many months ago. In the time the plan has been in effect, the total sum so far has exceeded what I owed them in the first place! Doesn't mean diddly now I guess. This type of practice simply can't be legal, but it would seem it is. I am ridiculously tired of all this bs. I need to win the lottery, oh wait, I can't afford to buy a ticket, damn. I need to find a roommate or something, oh wait, tried that, didn't work. I need a better paying job, oh wait, bad back. Maybe I should apply for disability payments, oh wait, i can walk without aid, my eyes and ears and mind work just fine, never mind. A government grant maybe? Oh wait, our government in trillions of dollars in debt, why would they give me anything? College maybe, oh wait in the last year my credit score has dropped almost 150 points, no loan for me. I need to meet a nice, level headed girl. Oh wait, I can't afford the gas to ever take her out, let alone pay to do anything, damn...damn...double damn!!! Why isn't it bed time yet? I just want to go to sleep, oh wait, my dreams suck too. I am so bloody pissed, stressed (horny, kinda), and bored! I had a flash of my life once, when i was 12 or 13, and it was of myself as an older man. I was alone, so I figured I would be alone, but damnit, I was OLD in that flash, not 28!
This may end up being erased, just like my third post ever was deleted...but I'll leave this one up long enough to be read by people. Any suggestions anybody has, that doesn't involve coffee shops, or a job i can't physically manage, I will listen, I promise!
This may end up being erased, just like my third post ever was deleted...but I'll leave this one up long enough to be read by people. Any suggestions anybody has, that doesn't involve coffee shops, or a job i can't physically manage, I will listen, I promise!
Wednesday 20 August 2008
What's a guy to do?!
Well I am waiting on my new phone, and knowing my luck (it sucks my own a**), it may be more than 7 days before I get it. The ever so cheery sales girl at T-Mobile asked me yesterday if "I know any friends who have old T-Mobile phones, because I could just put my sim card in that one..." No shit lady, I know how it works. Let's see, friends...uh, nope, not that I actually see in real life anyway. Okay, friends with T-Mobile as their current or previous cell provider, check the "no" box. My old phones...yeah, two of them. My most recent "old phone" doesn't stay on for more than say about 2 SECONDS!!! Hence, getting a new phone... The other one is so old it won't recognize the updates my sim card has gotten in the last five fricking years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What this all boils down to, is that I can't make or receive any phone calls, meaning that I missed my Mom's call this afternoon, that she placed before getting on an airplane to Europe, I have no idea what's going to be waiting for me at work tomorrow, and I can't even call my Sister, Booger Brain, to tell her about any of this tonight! Can I hear a collective ARRRGGGGGGGG!!!? A to the R to the R R G! Go team! Oh, wait, screw the team.
Not the Cubs though, although I can't get WCIU on my tv because my expensive digital receiving antenna, which is hooked up to a digital converter box, just refuses to get that one bloody channel in!!!
On a side note, I just made a $100+ payment on my one actual credit card this weekend, and when i called the number to check my balance this morning, I am amazingly overdrawn, AGAIN!!! And I didn't even make a purchase, go figure. So I spent my last $7 on cat food for Marley today, at least one of gets to eat. All I want to do right now is talk with the only family member I talk to, who's in the country right now, and watch the Cubs game. Oh well. The worst part is, Booger Brain can dial my number all she wants, but all she's going to get is my bloody voicemail, which I can't even check!!!!! What a crappy Wednesday.
Happy Birthday Jessica! And out of all the reasons I didn't want to go to your party, and for all the reasons I should go to your party now, I think I will save everybody from my out loud and in your face ranting on this very special day for you... You're welcome. :)
Lisa, I love you! Teej, we'll talk one of these days. April, hope you're well, and I missed hearing from you today! And to everybody else that might read this, I hope your life is going well!
What this all boils down to, is that I can't make or receive any phone calls, meaning that I missed my Mom's call this afternoon, that she placed before getting on an airplane to Europe, I have no idea what's going to be waiting for me at work tomorrow, and I can't even call my Sister, Booger Brain, to tell her about any of this tonight! Can I hear a collective ARRRGGGGGGGG!!!? A to the R to the R R G! Go team! Oh, wait, screw the team.
Not the Cubs though, although I can't get WCIU on my tv because my expensive digital receiving antenna, which is hooked up to a digital converter box, just refuses to get that one bloody channel in!!!
On a side note, I just made a $100+ payment on my one actual credit card this weekend, and when i called the number to check my balance this morning, I am amazingly overdrawn, AGAIN!!! And I didn't even make a purchase, go figure. So I spent my last $7 on cat food for Marley today, at least one of gets to eat. All I want to do right now is talk with the only family member I talk to, who's in the country right now, and watch the Cubs game. Oh well. The worst part is, Booger Brain can dial my number all she wants, but all she's going to get is my bloody voicemail, which I can't even check!!!!! What a crappy Wednesday.
Happy Birthday Jessica! And out of all the reasons I didn't want to go to your party, and for all the reasons I should go to your party now, I think I will save everybody from my out loud and in your face ranting on this very special day for you... You're welcome. :)
Lisa, I love you! Teej, we'll talk one of these days. April, hope you're well, and I missed hearing from you today! And to everybody else that might read this, I hope your life is going well!
Tuesday 19 August 2008
Wow yay and boo
Well today went almost better than expected...
I am getting a new phone for free, sans s&h. It was malfunctioning in a bad way, but the guy who sold it to me actually changed the data base with T-Mobile, so it is still under warranty! I remembered what it is that I want to market my voice to, video games! I have a craving for Moondoggies again (a restaurant in Glenview, IL) As it turns out, April used to eat there weekly, and now I want to try their steak sandwich!!! Jessica and I had some words online, but we seem to have straightened out our differences on the matter at hand. My other neighbor, Erin, literally just knocked on my door. She showed me her new Cubs shirt, it ROCKS!!! Hey Lisa, next time you're in the area, we should totally hit up Super Dawgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now I'm going to go back to watching old episodes of CSI:Crime Scene Investigators (season 2), and turn on the Cubs game in the background. That's all for now! Love and or Peace to you all!
Mom and Dad, I'll miss you, but I most certainly hope you guys have a super fantastically great trip, and that all goes well and safely! Love you!
I am getting a new phone for free, sans s&h. It was malfunctioning in a bad way, but the guy who sold it to me actually changed the data base with T-Mobile, so it is still under warranty! I remembered what it is that I want to market my voice to, video games! I have a craving for Moondoggies again (a restaurant in Glenview, IL) As it turns out, April used to eat there weekly, and now I want to try their steak sandwich!!! Jessica and I had some words online, but we seem to have straightened out our differences on the matter at hand. My other neighbor, Erin, literally just knocked on my door. She showed me her new Cubs shirt, it ROCKS!!! Hey Lisa, next time you're in the area, we should totally hit up Super Dawgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now I'm going to go back to watching old episodes of CSI:Crime Scene Investigators (season 2), and turn on the Cubs game in the background. That's all for now! Love and or Peace to you all!
Mom and Dad, I'll miss you, but I most certainly hope you guys have a super fantastically great trip, and that all goes well and safely! Love you!
Monday 18 August 2008
Whew, I feel slightly better
Happy Monday! Ha Ha Ha, just kidding! As a couple of you readers know, yesterday I felt really, REALLY guilty that I didn't help a damsel in distress. She's one of my neighbors, who just moved into the building recently. She was really struggling with some shopping bags, and for some odd reason, I didn't offer assistance, even though I had every opportunity to do so. WHACK! (That was me, smacking me upside my own head) Well, about half an hour ago, I was walking out of my apartment to go for a walk, and she had just come in to the building from a run. I didn't really recognize her, as she was, well, wearing running gear, and I've only met her the one time. Anyway, I actually got to explain to her face to face how big of a dick I had been feeling for not helping her yesterday, and she laughed (cutely), and accepted my apology, yay! Her name is Ashley, and as I figured, but she confirmed, she lives upstairs from me.
I also heard from April today, for the first time in a few days. I was kinda worried that I may have put her off with an email I had sent her, before she went silent, but that doesn't seem to be the case, so again, yay! If you read this April, I will see if the library has that book, and I will let you know soon!
I think I may have pissed off one of my neighbors today though, but hey, you can't win em all, right? Oh well, hopefully she'll get over it soon enough. Sorry Jessica, but damnit, you should have just asked, and not just told me what I would be doing...
I saw a tricked out Jetta on my way into work this morning, and I was so hoping we would end up at a start line (aka, next to each other at the front of the pack, at a stop light), but alas, fate was having none of that today :( Once again, you can't win em all, or even get a chance to lose in any case :)
Wow, there is nothing on TV tonight! I am Olympic'd out at the moment,and the Cubs have an off day. Maybe I'll restart the Dresden Files or something...
I love you all, well you know who you all are, and I hope everyone, yes everyone, has a good night!
I also heard from April today, for the first time in a few days. I was kinda worried that I may have put her off with an email I had sent her, before she went silent, but that doesn't seem to be the case, so again, yay! If you read this April, I will see if the library has that book, and I will let you know soon!
I think I may have pissed off one of my neighbors today though, but hey, you can't win em all, right? Oh well, hopefully she'll get over it soon enough. Sorry Jessica, but damnit, you should have just asked, and not just told me what I would be doing...
I saw a tricked out Jetta on my way into work this morning, and I was so hoping we would end up at a start line (aka, next to each other at the front of the pack, at a stop light), but alas, fate was having none of that today :( Once again, you can't win em all, or even get a chance to lose in any case :)
Wow, there is nothing on TV tonight! I am Olympic'd out at the moment,and the Cubs have an off day. Maybe I'll restart the Dresden Files or something...
I love you all, well you know who you all are, and I hope everyone, yes everyone, has a good night!
Sunday 17 August 2008
?
Another Saturday has now passed by. I talked with my Dad today, well more accurately, I listened to him talk more than talked with (hee hee). My parents are going on a cruise in a few days, so I won't have anybody to talk with online while I'm eating breakfast before the sun actually comes up. I'll live, but being alone in my head for so long is always trying. Anyone with a brain that works so much overtime like mine will surely understand...
My wacky neighbor came over today. It's so amazing to me to know that she's only a few years younger than me, but I am so removed from the life she's leading. It was kinda sad for me to tell her, just a few hours ago "when I was your age...I lived the same life, but then I grew older..." That sentence (I didn't include all of what I said), really put me in a stoic state. I nearly shut down all together shortly after those words left my lips.
My phone malfunctioned rather oddly tonight as well. For some reason the screen(s) stopped working. It took three removals of the battery, and some swearing and frustration as well, but it seems to be working again. I don't have a land line, and it would have really sucked to lose my cell. T-Mobile isn't even aware that I have this phone, so if it gets screwed up again, I'm really screwed. Not that that really matters, because I couldn't even pay that bill this pay period, so they'll probably turn off my service in a few weeks anyway, DAMNIT!!!!!!
I told Jessica what I really want to do for work today. Once again, I really can't explain how much having a bad back SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really want to be a carpenter, or a cabinet maker. I love building things. It's one of the passions I maintain, but the work is so physically demanding. I swept my warehouse for 20 minutes yesterday, and this morning it took me five minutes to get out of my bed, because the muscles around my spine had locked up in a blindingly painful fashion, so carpentry is out of the question. I just want to help people, and be able to build structures for the new families out there, or new small business entrepreneurs have an office to work from. Stuff like that, ya know? arrg............
Well I'm going to get some sleep now. I hope that everyone I love, and most everybody I know in any capacity had a great day!
P.S. Anybody know anybody with a punching bag that doesn't want it anymore? (read my last post to understand this question)
My wacky neighbor came over today. It's so amazing to me to know that she's only a few years younger than me, but I am so removed from the life she's leading. It was kinda sad for me to tell her, just a few hours ago "when I was your age...I lived the same life, but then I grew older..." That sentence (I didn't include all of what I said), really put me in a stoic state. I nearly shut down all together shortly after those words left my lips.
My phone malfunctioned rather oddly tonight as well. For some reason the screen(s) stopped working. It took three removals of the battery, and some swearing and frustration as well, but it seems to be working again. I don't have a land line, and it would have really sucked to lose my cell. T-Mobile isn't even aware that I have this phone, so if it gets screwed up again, I'm really screwed. Not that that really matters, because I couldn't even pay that bill this pay period, so they'll probably turn off my service in a few weeks anyway, DAMNIT!!!!!!
I told Jessica what I really want to do for work today. Once again, I really can't explain how much having a bad back SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really want to be a carpenter, or a cabinet maker. I love building things. It's one of the passions I maintain, but the work is so physically demanding. I swept my warehouse for 20 minutes yesterday, and this morning it took me five minutes to get out of my bed, because the muscles around my spine had locked up in a blindingly painful fashion, so carpentry is out of the question. I just want to help people, and be able to build structures for the new families out there, or new small business entrepreneurs have an office to work from. Stuff like that, ya know? arrg............
Well I'm going to get some sleep now. I hope that everyone I love, and most everybody I know in any capacity had a great day!
P.S. Anybody know anybody with a punching bag that doesn't want it anymore? (read my last post to understand this question)
Friday 15 August 2008
On a side note...
If any of you, and I mean anybody, knows of anybody with a punching/kicking bag that isn't wanted or used anymore, I would be glad to take it off their hands. That is if they are willing to part with it for free. I will drive wherever it is, and pick it up. I used to have one, years ago, but I used it to save a parking spot I had dug out during one particularly bad snow storm, when I lived in Boxwood, but somebody stole it, not the parking spot mind you, just the bag (it weighed 80 lbs, so that must have been fun for whoever snagged it!) It was given to me by my Sister's late husband, Blake, and I took quite some offense when it was stolen, even though I did take it outside, and then leave. In any case, I need a form of release, and I stopped punching walls and doors several months ago. So again, if anybody knows of one that somebody would be alright giving to me, please let me know! Thanks...
How I Hate Money, and Money Hates Me
I don't even know where to start here, that' how, uh, flustered I am right now! I'm set up on a payment plan with Citibank, for my old Radioshack card. Long story, but to sum up, several months ago I had missed a payment, and they screwed me royally. Now the account is closed, but I still owe boatloads of money. Well the deal is that every month, on the 15th, they take $40 out of my bank account. They have never been on time to date, until yesterday, go figure. Yesterday morning, I checked my bank account before work, and I had $42 in it (I know, I am soooo loaded!!!) The payment hadn't gone through, I knew I was getting paid today. So I stopped on my way to work, and got some milk and a fruit salad to go with my lunch. That came to $3.37, but I KNEW that the Radioshack payment wouldn't be taken out until today or tomorrow, as per usual... At work, we just switched payroll companies, for what reason I don't know, but we did. Our last payroll company, that we'd had for as long as I've been there, always deposited into my account at 12:01 a.m.. This new company doesn't deposit until 4:00 a.m.. Well guess what, the Radioshack payment went through at 1:00 a.m., and the purchase I'd made yesterday went through a few minutes later. Which made me over drawn! The real kicker is that technically two payments were "covered" by my bank, so I'll get charged twice! What that means, is that now I can pay my car payment, and my loan payment, and nothing else. No cell phone, no Menards, no Com Ed, my car insurance may or may not be covered. yay. Everybody tells me the same thing, and that is, that I should get a second job. I KNOW!!! I have a bad spine people! I can't stand behind a counter for five hours straight, or roam a showroom floor for 5 hours straight, and still be able to work my full time job the next day!!! At least I have the last/latest Dresden Files book to keep me company for a few days anyway. Whoever invented this monetary system should be resurrected, even if it a small army of people, and they should all be stripped of all money, and some how debilitated, and see how they like it, or, alternatively, they should all be shot on sight! I think we should all go back the barter system. I hate to say it, because it never really works out well (look at China), but if Communism worked, I might even give that a shot, but I sure won't be moving to China anytime soon!
Thursday 14 August 2008
???
I have not much to say tonight. I met another actual live woman tonight. Her name is Joy. She's one of my crazy neighbor Jessica's friends, much more on a level plane though... My boss Matt annoyed me at work today, nothing really new about that. The Cubs won again today!!!
Thanks for the feedback Lisa, Mom and Teej. To Teej, I have no idea how to market myself directly to any company I want to market myself to. Thanks though, I will keep working on that! Lisa, thanks for reading my blog, and trying to get Mom into it! Mom, thanks for reading my blog, and trying to get, oh wait, sounding slightly redundant..... April, thanks for listening (aka, reading) my ranting about stuff, and not running away screaming!!
Yeah, this is another night I have not much to say. A whole lot I could, but I feel no need to rant about any of it, at the moment.
Goodnight to all, sleep well and have good dreams! Until tomorrow, I bid you all adieu...
Thanks for the feedback Lisa, Mom and Teej. To Teej, I have no idea how to market myself directly to any company I want to market myself to. Thanks though, I will keep working on that! Lisa, thanks for reading my blog, and trying to get Mom into it! Mom, thanks for reading my blog, and trying to get, oh wait, sounding slightly redundant..... April, thanks for listening (aka, reading) my ranting about stuff, and not running away screaming!!
Yeah, this is another night I have not much to say. A whole lot I could, but I feel no need to rant about any of it, at the moment.
Goodnight to all, sleep well and have good dreams! Until tomorrow, I bid you all adieu...
Wednesday 13 August 2008
Huh?
Is it possible that I have nothing to post about today? Well, maybe, but not quite. Can anybody tell me what it is that Walsh has on her right shoulder? Is it hiding a tattoo she doesn't want the world to see? Maybe it's just some kind of Chinese symbol that brings her luck? I don't know, do you?
My day was fairly mundane. Matt (my other boss) once again didn't believe me about something work related, shocking! I was told, once again, today, by some southern belle, that I have "a wonderful voice". I can't begin to explain what it's like to hear that everyday of my life, for 15 years (!!!!!!!) that, or some variation of that, and still not have gotten a voice over offer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I just can't make a good demo? It is just so frustrating!
I bought a Lotto ticket today. The guy at the gas station, who was wearing eye liner, complimented my voice too. He also said that I could sing Godsmack, and actually sound better than their singer. Again, annoying, but I accepted the compliment. I know my voice doesn't fit my build, being a tall skinny white guy, but damn! What drives people to think that I haven't ever heard that I have a deep, standoutish voice before? Yes, I invented a word in that last sentence...
I guess that's all I have to say for now. With the exception that I didn't get any kind of message from April today :( Oh well, I guess I'll survive :) Mom, I'm glad Booger Brain and I made your morning! Are you sure you want to give up coffee though??? Love to my fam, and best of wishes to everybody that I don't know well enough to love right now!
My day was fairly mundane. Matt (my other boss) once again didn't believe me about something work related, shocking! I was told, once again, today, by some southern belle, that I have "a wonderful voice". I can't begin to explain what it's like to hear that everyday of my life, for 15 years (!!!!!!!) that, or some variation of that, and still not have gotten a voice over offer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I just can't make a good demo? It is just so frustrating!
I bought a Lotto ticket today. The guy at the gas station, who was wearing eye liner, complimented my voice too. He also said that I could sing Godsmack, and actually sound better than their singer. Again, annoying, but I accepted the compliment. I know my voice doesn't fit my build, being a tall skinny white guy, but damn! What drives people to think that I haven't ever heard that I have a deep, standoutish voice before? Yes, I invented a word in that last sentence...
I guess that's all I have to say for now. With the exception that I didn't get any kind of message from April today :( Oh well, I guess I'll survive :) Mom, I'm glad Booger Brain and I made your morning! Are you sure you want to give up coffee though??? Love to my fam, and best of wishes to everybody that I don't know well enough to love right now!
Tuesday 12 August 2008
Of all the things to say to your children!
My day started alright today. Yesterday I spent money I really shouldn't have, but I need juice with breakfast. I ran out of cereal this morning, but I had enough to eat most of a bowl's worth at least. I couldn't bring a lunch to work, because I had nothing to bring for lunch. So I prepared myself mentally to go without lunch. Well at work, I broke down, and asked my boss Joe if I could get a very small loan so I could go grocery shopping after work (because I really hate not getting lunch, I'm starving by 8 am everyday anyway). He was kind enough to oblige. I still didn't have lunch at work, but on my way home I hauled ass to Jewel to get some sustenance! I had just grabbed a basket by the entrance near the deli, when I heard a mom say to her children, who were asking for fruit, not fruit snacks, actual fruit, "No, I don't have enough money for fruit! I could care less if you guys eat fruit!" In my state of awe, I glanced at her cart as we passed, and it had Name brand sugary cereal, and a HUGE bottle of Jack D in it. Pure sugar for the kids and about a gallon of ulcer inducing drink for her (or possibly Dad, but either way!) Get the kids some damn fruit, put the sugar back, and get something healthy for them, or at least get some cereal with some actual fruit in it for goodness sakes!!!!!!! I couldn't believe that, I wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her!!! Hell, I drink too much, and I even managed to bypass the liquor dept, because I needed food first and foremost! With that said, I need to make some food! April, if you read this, I hope round two is going better, and I'm glad you have access to public transportation, and that you use it! I wish that had been an option for me when I was in that spot. Okay, I really must eat before I pass out here! Love to my family! And Mom, thanks for getting Lisa and I fruit when we were kids! Love ya!
Monday 11 August 2008
Why I'm So Broke
It's not that I don't make halfway decent money at work. I spent many years living with my last couple of girlfriends (no, not at the same time). And having a dual income is kinda nice! But then my last girlfriend, how should I put this, kinda crossed the line...and so I chose to move out. I left one dog, our akita, Dent, with her, and the other, my husky, Zaphod, I gave to my boss Joe, because it's damn near impossible to find apartments that take big dogs anymore!!! So for the last couple of years I have been paying my own rent, utilities, and so on. Which was a bit of a shock at first, but I was just getting used to it. Then one fateful Saturday night, I chose to leave my friends house, instead of getting into an altercation with six other guys that randomly showed up. I was about 3 blocks away from my apartment, when I passed through a speed trap, where a cop happened to be sitting. Well that ticket turned into a DUI as well, and I ended up selling my car to pay for a lawyer, and had to take out a loan to pay for all the lovely court fines, and penalties, and all those lovely things that go into DUI's. So not only was I paying full rent again, but now I have a car payment again, and a large loan payment to boot, which really doesn't help matters at all. So that is why I never get out anymore, stupid speed trap! Scratch that, stupid fight or flight decision! I got my liscense back last September, and the DUI has been removed from my record, this past July, but I will be paying for it for another 4 years, so there ya go!
Dogs rock!
Well today started off as many Mondays this year have, well actually the last couple of years. I got up at 5:30 (that's been the case for many more than two years!), having had some crazy dreams, as per usual. I couldn't quite get my head unmuddled for a couple minutes, but by the time I was out of the shower, it was about as unmuddled as my head gets. Having no money, meant having no juice this morning, and cereal is so boring when you have no juice! Not that I put the juice in the cereal... My co-worker, one of the full time drivers, Jorge, couldn't manage to make it home from the Dells this weekend in time for work this morning, so I already knew I'd be covering his route (aka my old route for 5 years, three years ago). So at least I knew I would get to see some of our customers that I kinda miss seeing, as not everybody in the corporate world is a jackass! I went to Saturn Steel, which I totally forgot how to get to, boy did I feel like an idiot when I had to call them! Any way, the woman that orders for them, Sue, always brings her dog to work. He is the most loving and pretty good looking golden retriever! When I used to go there all the time, and still had my dogs (oh how I miss my dogs, arrgg!!!), this dog, TJ (yes Lisa, the dogs name is TJ), would always run up to me and smell my shoes for ten minutes and then roll on them, and then do everything he could not to let me leave the office to continue my route. Today was no different, I was kinda surprised he remembered me, as I haven't smelled like a dog in a couple of years! Or seen TJ in as long either, it was great to catch up with him, and Sue as well, but the dog is much more playful, I must admit :) When I tried to leave he ran in super duper fast circles in front of me, blocking the door, and I had to make him sit before I could open it! The unfortunate thing is the dog is very vocal, and it's not that big of an office, and there are people on the phone all the time, but nobody has ever said anything to me before. I still feel bad for them! I do know though, that he never acts that way for the UPS guy, so I feel kind of honored!
Now I'm home, and back to the boring and hungry aspect of my life, once again. Oh well. Maybe, just maybe one of these days I'll have enough money after paying my bills, and I'll actually be able to go out and do something!!!
Now I'm home, and back to the boring and hungry aspect of my life, once again. Oh well. Maybe, just maybe one of these days I'll have enough money after paying my bills, and I'll actually be able to go out and do something!!!
Sunday 10 August 2008
I have seen more campaign ads in the few hours I've been watching the Olympics, than I have watching anything else on TV, or listening to talk radio at work all day. Don't get me wrong, I listen to my ipod in the warehouse, because a day at work without music would be torturous! Back to the point, I have been seeing these damned commercials for way to long now!!! When will November ever get here?! And why do they have to ruin the importance of such an honorable event that brings the world together for a few days, every four years? I get the marketing angle, but come on!
On a plus side, for me in any case, is that VW is sponsoring the Olympics!
On a plus side, for me in any case, is that VW is sponsoring the Olympics!
Oops
I just realized that my first posting seems to be not what it was when I wrote it. It did say a whole lot more than just giving you my name. Not quite sure what happened on that one...
Another Sunday morning
Here it is, Sunday morning. That tends to lead to Sunday afternoon, then evening then, well soon enough it's Monday, and back to work. I'd like to say I'll be having a nice lazy Sunday, but I'm pretty sure that won't be happening. My neighbor Jessica was just nice enough to give me some quarters for laundry. I asked for 2, she gave me more, so that was cool. So now I'm doing laundry, hooray for clean clothes! After laundry I'll probably head to work to take care of a couple things there. It also helps to ground me to some form of normality, as sad as that may be. But hey, when you have no money and no food, any normality helps. In the mean time, while waiting for my clothes to wash and rinse, I'm watching the Olympics (I can actually get channel 5 today!). It would seem team USA isn't doing that well in the events being aired this morning. Oh well.
Saturday 9 August 2008
Alrighty then...
Took a little bit, but I am now up and running! Sorry, but I don't have any pictures of myself, and for some reason my scanner won't work with the computer I'm using to maintain this blog, stupid Vista!!! How ever, if my digital camera somehow manages to take a halfway decent picture of me, as I am not terribly photogenic, I will post one. I guess time will tell on that one. Thanks again Lisa, for getting me to do this, I feel a little better now! Love ya!
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