Saturday, 5 December 2009

Another Round with Depressed Situations.

Hello.

I was just going through some drafts that never got published, and was tempted to post one that has been sitting there for about 5 months. It read much like how I'm feeling today, but it made some past references that are no longer current. So, instead of editing it, I figured I'll just start one fresh. The joys of living with somebody who is completely unpredictable are taxing at best. I am tired, stressed, easily aggravated, and dealing with a new round of my own depression just to square things off. It began yesterday evening. I was sitting on a kitchen counter, conversing with Stefanie, who was sitting on the counter across from me. The "guest" in the living room was leaving us alone as we talked, which was a nice change. Then Brent came home. He walked into the kitchen with the remains of some Wendy's, and sat down at the table. Stef and I tried involving him in some general banter. Then he asked me about rent, telling me that I was 4 days late (completely unaware that I had just gotten paid yesterday). I gave him the money I had on me, a couple hundred dollars. Then he asked for the rest of it, while turning towards anger. I told him that I'd have the rest when I am caught up with my bills this month. Then he stood up, told me not to "walk all over his generosity, because that pisses me off!", and walked out of the room. Awesome. The odd bit, which popped into my head a short while later, was that a few weeks ago he and I had gone out to get some food, and he was wondering how the "rest" of the people manage to get by everyday, with so much debt, and no way of making much more money than most already do. I told him just how hard it is to do, running down my financial history with him, and laying out how impossible it is to budget when there is no money left to budget when you've used everything you just earned to pay only three quarters of the bills. He listened, and contemplated. When I then told him how I had to take my car in to get checked out, guessing it was the brakes causing the issue I was (am) having, he told me he'd front me the money to get my brakes fixed. It turned out to be my tires, not my brakes, and that's not better. I've been shopping around for tires, but I just can't afford them, and every time I bring it up to him, he won't respond in any way. Getting new tires is vital right about now, considering how far I live from work, and how I don't live on flat terrain, or how they could blow out at any moment even under good driving conditions. Unfortunately my car uses odd sized tires, which of course cost more than the next size down. Mix that annoyance with the way my pay periods have been falling of late, and the fact that my middle of the month bills should have been paid with yesterday's paycheck, but since Brent demanded rent, I handed him what would have been my car and cell phone payments earlier today. This did not help with my mood. So to pass my time, I finally took care of my file cabinet (okay it's only a small wooden two drawer file cabinet). Bad decision on my part. I organized the last 7 years of bank statements for starters, and it retold the story of how I ended up where I am right now. The thousands and thousands of dollars that were lost due to the number games banks play with those of us living with just enough money to keep the power on, and not much of anything else. After filing away everything else, I went upstairs to hang out with Brent and Stef. I had only been in their room a few minutes when a pizza they had ordered arrived. I sat there for a while, watching the movie they had going, never being offered a piece of the pizza. Normally that wouldn't have bothered me much, but as I watched them eating what could have been my car payment it did. I would much prefer the money I give him to go towards things like house maintenance, the cable bill, the electric bill, or groceries. Instead it funds his shopping sprees, for things like movies and books on CD (some of which cost $300 per set!) , or video games. Never ever on food, or a replacement stove, or a snow shovel, or anything that just might come in handy around this house. It's sad really, and I hate myself a little more every time I hand him the "rent" money. That mixed with the fact that he just about makes more per week than I make in a whole month. Alright, I'm done bitching, okay not really, but I don't feel like rambling on anymore right now.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

An Oddly Spotted Rabbit and Me (no VW reference intended ;)

Hi and hello all.

The above picture was taken the day after my Thirtieth birth day anniversary. The rabbit has the oddest coat that I have seen to date. Other than that, life has been more or less the same. Still single, still mostly lonely. I need to find some way to shake up this life of mine. I can't really think of how to do that, but I know that not everything is copacetic. Really it is simply describable as boredom. I fought for a long time to accept being "alone". I finally did become comfortable with solidarity. I had felt the sensation for a long time, and was never truly uncomfortable with the notion, but practicing it is not as entertaining as pondering it. Now I'm just bored, and feel like I'll never get out of the monopractitioner life status. That might sound crazy, or unlikely to some, but it's not to me. I have the ability to communicate with just about everybody I share a language with, but as far as knowing how to take a relationship to the next level still seems to be a difficulty that I'm afflicted by. I'm not happy about it, really. I'm feeling a bit desperate of late. But when confronted with a new woman that excites attraction in me, I can't seem to stop feeling as though if I speak I will come off as nothing but desperate. That only sucks because it transfers over to trying to speak with people I feel no attraction towards. So basically my whole life is in need of some companionship, but I have forgotten how to have, or even enjoy that. Hmmm, one day maybe. Or maybe I'll spend more time than I'd like feeling like an odd rabbit in a cage...


Peace y'all :) Time for some mind numbing television, just so I can think in more simplistic ways ;)


Paste the link below to your web address bar for the soundtrack that kinda fits this post (in a new window of course, so you can listen for a while, and then read this post at the same time...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_VbSExIg1E

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Another Decade Past

Hello, and welcome to my last blog in my third decade of life.

So today is Nov. 3rd, 2009, and this is last evening of my 20's. This last decade has been an interesting one, full of good and bad, ups and downs, loss and meetings, and some other stuff. It brought two loves into my life, and gave me plenty of time to say goodbye to both. One was lost due to life changes, and the other was lost to instability. One remains in contact, and the other lost in the ether (so to say, she is alive, but non-communicate). This decade has also been a time filled with saying a final farewell to more than I'd like, notably Blake Cadkin and John Waldron, and the one person I knew when 9/11 took the lives of so many. It has also brought people into my life, the two loves, Dahlia and Jenny, and some friends like George and Dean. I both lost myself, and found myself (sometimes one before the other), and tried my best to help those who I could. There have been chances not taken, and chances taken to no avail, and sometimes things I did not see as chances becoming more than I would have ever imagined. I could go on, but the dinner I ate tonight was about the best thing to analogize this decade, not quite long enough, but packed with so much that I could not close it enough to take it all in in one bite. I both admire and despise that in a sandwich (and life).

I had thoughts of dragging this post out to an insane length, but now that I'm sitting here, I don't think I will. Why, you ask? Because I wouldn't want to bore you readers who have put up with some of my ramblings in the past year in this blog of mine. I will say though, that it feels odd to me that I will be turning 30 tomorrow (4 hr 34 min from right now). I've been looking around at what is surrounding me, and I am having a hard time seeing anything that makes me feel like I've accomplished anything to date. I must say, it is a bit depressing. Okay, so I've known love more than once, and I was able to avoid homelessness in my 20's, so that's something. But something still feels like it is missing. It hasn't "...been a long December" yet (come on, it's only November), but I am hoping that "next year will be better than the last." There have been some severe trials involving my self worth, my reservations, and my inner strength. I have not come out unscathed, or with a case of perma-smile, but I've made it alive and mostly healthy. I could ask for more, I suppose. In fact I have wanted more for a few years now. But I've stopped asking of late, as I've seen so much worse in the last 10 years, that I find myself without room to bitch and moan about what I lack, like I used to do.

On that, I think I will stop here. Like I mentioned before, I could go on to make this more than even my own mother could read in one sitting (love ya mom!), but once I started writing, I knew that wasn't the right thing to do. I'm not dying quite yet, just turning 30. I feel like it's time for a change, if only I could figure out what that change should be. Since that won't happen tonight (most likely), I will instead watch some TV, listen to some music, and look forward to tomorrow!

Peace out y'all! Remember to take the good with the bad, and that even when there is more bad than good, there is still good to be had! Oh, and don't forget the family/friends, good music, good foods, and lots of laughs whenever you can let one slip! ; )

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Psycho, Flying, Self Rightious, and a Lack of a Moral Compass

Greeting Readers

Once again, for the second time this month, I find myself in an all too quiet house. This time it's not due to Brent's hospitalization, but instead a pass from his PO to cross the state line for a few days to go camping with old friends. I thought it was a bit odd that his parole officer allowed this, given his recent release from the psych ward, and his strict probation. But hey, who am I to make that call...oh wait...I wouldn't have given that pass. But maybe some time spent with old friends in a different place will be good for him. Or perhaps refusing to stop living in the past will make this trip one of futility instead of enlightenment. All I can really do now though is hope that he makes it back from this trip in one piece, and with no lawful interference.

On to a lighter topic for a second. Yesterday a bird decided to make use of my car for tactical avoidance maneuver practice while I was driving to work. It was actually quite beautiful. It was 6:35 a.m., and the sun hadn't made a full appearance yet. The bird came swooping down from the west, and dove down to headlight level. Right before I could have hit it, it rotated to expose it's pure white breast directly in front of my driver side headlight, with it's wings at full glide extension. Caught in the light, I could see every feather in brilliant detail, right before I swerved slightly to the right to avoid taking it out of flight. This morning, at about the same time, but farther down Gilmer, I saw a hawk come over the tree line on the east side of the road, carrying some small animal in it's talons. Just gliding peacefully while it carried it's breakfast to a better eating location I suppose. That is one advantage to living way out of the way from work, more opportunity to see the world going on around me, without human idiocy getting in the way :)

Back to annoyances for a bit. One of my bosses really gets me worked up sometimes. Recently it's been him taking what little he knows about Brent, creating an image in his head about the current situation, and then telling me that I am wrong for worrying so much, and that he really isn't that bad. As though he knows the intricacies of my relationship with Brent, or that Brent doesn't have some serious deep rooted issues. I mean, this boss can really be a self important know-it-all most of the time, but sometimes the things that come out of his mouth about things that he really doesn't know about can really piss me off. I share very little about my personal life and relations with friends or girlfriends at work. So he gets about 5% of the happenings in my life, and seems to have manufactured a complete picture of my life from that mere 5 percent. Mix that with the fact that he doesn't believe anything I've told him about my past, and that he thinks that I have been lying about pretty much all of it, and you might start to see where my issue is with him. Unfortunately I don't have the nerve to ever tell him what I really think about what he says, because I have no security net. So I mostly just keep it inside, and leave at 3, trying to leave most of my emotions behind at that time.

Oh, any FB friends of mine, here is the story of why I asked about the likeliness of trying to find a lost inscribed golden bracelet. A guy I know, strictly in a professional sense, was out with his wife over the weekend, at a club. When they left the club he found a golden bracelet which was inscribed with somebodies initials. Instead of going back into the club and either turning it in, or telling them he found it right outside the door and leaving his name and number if anybody came to inquire about said bracelet, he kept it, and sold it at a pawn shop for $160. He was really happy about having gotten so much for it. When I asked if he had reported it before pawning it, his response was "Who cares? Who's going to go back to the club to see if the bracelet was turned in? Hehehe...". I didn't really have large amounts of respect for this guy before, but that really burned my buttons. Talk about a lack of a moral compass. I am not a religious man by any right, but I still have a moral compass, and I was shocked by that guys state of mind and compulsive action in that situation. Once again I say....people, I tell ya!

I'm sure there were many more things I wanted to bring up in this post, but an elongated phone call interrupted me in the middle of this, so I am lost for topics now. Oh well, maybe that's for the better, as I think I've rambled on enough for now.

Hey Val, I hope you've resolved your brake light issue! Lisa, I hope you're doing well post surgery (and that picture of the fish tank is awesome!)! Mom, I hope you are doing well today! And to everybody else I didn't mention, I hope all is going mostly well, if not well, or really well! Julia, if by chance you still check on this blog, how the hell are ya? Okay, that is all for this evening. Good night to all, and good day to you tomorrow!

Peace y'all

Sunday, 11 October 2009

No Title Comes To Mind.

Hello all.

The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I watched my close friend, and owner of this house, self destruct in his mind. I saw the signs, and tried to put a stop to it. It wasn't enough though. Being one who suffers from a form of depression it was difficult to watch all those signs emerge and then play out to point of helplessness. He is currently in a hospital, getting something like help. I've visited him a couple times, managing to bring him his guitar, a book, and some sheet music. During the time leading up to his admittance, I found myself revisiting all of the techniques I've picked up (on) over the years. That in itself hasn't been the easy thing to do. However, it did come in handy, to a point anyway. It made it easier to break down his walls of defense, but alas I could not pull him out of the downward spiral.

On the Thursday, one week before the last, he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend, so she moved out, leaving just the two of us. Then that Sunday he really broke down, and with help from his dad, we got him to the hospital. So I've had the house to myself this last week. It's been not as quiet as one might expect. From the odd moments hearing various types of voices, to the sounds of someone walking around upstairs, whether I'm in the basement or not. I find it more curious than frightening. I've been reunited with old friends as well this week. It's nice, but it sucks that it's all centered around one friend having a bad time of it. But hey, it came at a time when I needed a little help, so I'm not really complaining.

On Thursday last, I had a fright of identity theft, and canceled my main bank card, only to later discover that the transaction had been a legitimate one, albeit it a crappy one. So now I get to wait another week to get my new card, yippee. This last Friday really took the cake for oddities though. I was sitting in the living room, eating my breakfast and watching the news. I nearly choked on my cheerios when I heard that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Okay, he may seem like a socialist to some, and a hope of change to others, I really don't see how the peace prize is fitting. The reason is that he has changed the political landscape of the world, and opened up lines of communication where there had been none, or there were severed ones. But the peace prize? Really??? As if that wasn't enough, I was driving into work a short while later, and heard on the radio that NASA had just shot the moon....with a missile!!! While the reason may have been one of ambition for advancement, I think we should have just left that prospect as a phrase and nothing more. Luckily that was the end of the bizarre news for that day.

Yesterday I made a trip up north, to visit my sister. We went out to eat at a restaurant that I have been hearing about from my family for years now. Within about 10 seconds of walking into the place, I got offered the chance to do a commercial for the place, by a guy who I think may be the owner. That was unexpected, and I was a little taken aback. I do however want to take him up on that offer. Got to get started somewhere, and this is the first offer I've gotten since I was 19. So here's hoping! And hey Lisa, it was good to see you! Hang in there yo!

Today wasn't very lazy, for a Sunday. I went to the hospital for a visit again, and went grocery shopping afterward. I also learned how to work the new thermostat. For that, I have won the prize of.............heat in the basement!!! I also earned myself a whole new set of noises in the house, while the air ducts and floor joists have gotten their first jolt of warm air flowing to the vents, instead of ice cold air. The thermostat may get changed back in a week or so, but I'm the only resident here right now, so I will make myself comfortable in the meantime. As comfortable as I can feel right now anyway.

Okay, that is the shortest update I could come up with for the time since my last post. I was tempted to go into much more detail, but that would have taken way to long, and I would like to get some reading and tv time in tonight. So I will do that now. Until next time, I hope everyone is well, and don't forget to laugh, eat well, and enjoy your friendships.

Sunday, 27 September 2009

The Fog Lifted This Morning

Hello again.

It's the last weekend of September, and I finally got the picture I've been talking about for weeks now, sweet! It only took a couple weekends of getting up early on Sunday mornings, defeating the term "lazy Sunday", only to find the rain clouds hanging around at ground level. However, regardless of what my computer's weather bug tried telling me this earlier this morning, FOG, when I walked upstairs to get some juice before heading out I glanced out the window above the kitchen sink, and discovered the fog had already lifted. At last!

Going back about an hour, I had woken up at 5 a.m., under my own power. While laying there, deciding whether I should get up and about, or just close my eyes again, I heard Brent walking around. Sometimes he gets up at 2 or 3 in the morning, has a bowl of cereal alone and in near darkness, and then leaves the bowl on the dining table and goes back to bed. On this morning I didn't hear him move one of the chairs, but instead I heard him grab his keys, and leave through the front door. I thought that was a bit odd, but thought maybe he was just running to the store, or maybe the gas station, but he was still MIA when I went upstairs for the before mentioned juice. There was an empty bowl and spoon sitting on the dining table, but when it was used I do not know. I also discovered, when I went to leave, that he had left the front door unlocked when he left. Knowing he had his keys, I locked the door behind me, as so Stefanie wouldn't wake up alone, confused, and vulnerable to the occasional passerby. Call me chauvinistic, or call it courtesy. I'll call it making use of the lock for one of the intended purposes that it's installed.

I was glad I got to my desired location when I did. The sun was just clearing the horizon, and there was virtually no traffic to worry about hitting me while walking along the shoulder of a two lane road, or obstructing the shot. I got my shutter moving, and walked back to my car, taking one last picture with my phone to send to my sister. Hey Booger Brain, I hope I didn't wake you up when I sent it, and that you don't cry before the matinee is over today!

When I was on my way back home, the fog actually returned, hiding the sun from view, and causing me to turn on my cars anti-fog devices. I made a stop at a McD's, and while sitting in the parking lot to eat in my car, I saw what looked like Brent's Jeep, driven by a guy that may have been Brent, heading north towards home. I finished my meal, and made another stop at Jewel before making my way back to the house. Upon arrival I noticed that Brent's car was not in the driveway. Okay, curiouser and curiouser. I went inside, and was in the kitchen putting away my purchases, when Stefanie came down the hall. I thought it was a bit odd for her to be up so early on the weekend, and she thought it was odd that it was me that had come in, and not Brent. I asked if she knew where he went, but she didn't. We both decided to do our thing for a minute, and meet back in the living room to discuss the signs we've been noticing of late. But before I could get back upstairs, Brent came home. When I went back up, they were in their bedroom with the door mostly closed. I heard them talking, and they were both laughing, so I just said hello from the hall, and then came back downstairs. I still don't know where he went, and why he went where ever he did so early. Maybe I'll find out later.

The rest of this weekend went pretty well. Friday night brought only a couple of people over, literally a couple, Justin and Lauren. I like the both of them, but once again I felt a bit uncomfortable, and alone. I went to bed first, as per usual. Yesterday I slept in, and when I got up, I was unaware that Justin and Lauren were still here, when I told Brent and Stef that I'd pay for breakfast if they wanted to go to our sometimes breakfast spot. Oops. It was cool though, and we all went out, only to discover that the management at the restaurant had changed, as well as the chef. Everybody got something wrong in their orders, and my food tasted a bit more than a bit off. So I guess that ends that Saturday tradition. I was also hoping to finally meet up with Sabina, but her new job has kinda crappy hours. Oh well, one of these days.

Okay fine, I've been talking about this elusive picture for long enough. I suppose you all might want to see it. So here ya go...

Is this really Wauconda?
Better shot, but power lines snuck in for a cameo :(

I hope everyone has been having a good time of it lately, and everything else. Happy Lazy Sunday to all, and make sure to squeeze in some good tunes and eats and laughs today!

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Another Weekend

Good afternoon everyone, or what ever part of the day it is for you.

I was going to kick start this day by taking a picture of an awesome view that I get to see most every morning while driving to work. However, it there is only about a half second window to see it, while traveling through the curve of the road at 55-60 mph. So my master plan was to get up at about the same time as I do on weekdays, get in my car, drive to said view, park, and take a proper picture while standing still, and with an actual camera. But mother nature didn't seem to like this plan, and filled the entire northern IL lands with blindingly dense fog. No sun to see, no picture. I guess I'll try again next weekend. So tune in next weekend for updates. On the plus side, I did get a picture of a particular beverage that I went on a co-op hunt for a few weeks back, and send it to the other party involved, he he he (sinister version of hee hee). Other than that this weekend has gone by alright. A few people stopped by late on Friday night, nothing overboard, and I was in bed by 12:30. Yesterday was fairly lazy. Marley finally got a nail trim, that was long overdue. I had completely forgotten that I had bought really good nail trimmers that he's okay with, and I found them while looking for something else. So now he can move all of his legs like a normal cat! No more getting random legs stuck while trying to move quickly!

Welcome back Mom and Dad! Those picture you took are pretty cool! Lisa, I checked on your blog yesterday, if you would like to discuss anything you know how to get a hold of me. Hello, and well wishes to any other readers.

Once again, my plans to cook tonight were thwarted. I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop trying, and just pretend I live alone again, when it comes to preparing food. For some odd reason though, I have yet to listen to myself. One of these days...maybe...just maybe I will. Hell, maybe I will fire up the grill anyway, and cook for myself. It's a bit of a waste of charcoal, but today I just don't seem to care about that. All I know is that it is awesome outside today, and I feel like firing up my grill! So there, put that in your grill and smoke it!

Peace out y'all!

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Oops, kinda let this slip...

Hello Everybody! (sorry don't know how to type a Dr. Nick voice, and I haven't come up with a better header yet!)

Okay, so a couple months ago I promised that I would post pics of the basement I reside in when it was completed. Well it has been completed, for the most part. The only exception being that there are about 150 movies and 3 bookcases blocking th small hall that leads to the laundry room, making it a "fun" acrobatic act to get to said washer and dryer! Other than that, it is finished. so here are those long awaited pics!
Marley crying at nothing, as per usual!
Marley's beanbag can be seen here. (Big black thing)







Sorry, no pics of my bedroom, or bathroom. Not from shame, just because my bedroom is just a bedroom, and my bathroom has a tub that would just make too many people jealous. If you want to see these places, you'll just have to come visit. Ha ha ha, suckers! Okay, I could have just posted a normal blog, aka bitch fest, but I kinda used some of that energy in a message I sent to somebody earlier, so I'm not going to go through all that again. Sorry to disappoint, kinda sorta...

Lisa, you rock, and you'll be fine! I love you Booger Brain!

To everyone else, I hope all is going well! Good music, company, and food to all, and to all a good night!

Friday, 28 August 2009

Another Driving Blog

Hey Ya'll!

Okay, I think it's nearly time for me to change my intro to these postings. But not right now. So it's once again a Friday, and once again I've heard talks of a party. However, at the time I'm typing this, I am paying attention to a show about the science of traffic. This is just gonna be fuel for the fire for me. Considering I posted a video out of Whales, a PSA (Public Safety Awareness) video, so it was not a "real" incident, on facebook yesterday. Most likely along with thousands of other people. The result of this was opening a dialogue with the younger resident of this house, about driving safety and awareness. So that was a good thing, I hope. While I could treat this like a true blogger's blog, and go into a lecture on driving, I don't think I will.

Okay, it's now Saturday. The party was kinda lame last night, but it was cool to see my old friend Ashley for the first time in a few years. Unfortunately by the time she arrived, I was pretty well in the tank. It would have been nice to have been able to actually talk with her, but as I said,I was drunk, and she was bothered by all the cigarette smoke lingering in the house. So that didn't work out so well. Damn, maybe next time. Bored with the goings on in the house after Ashley left, I just went to bed. I am such a party animal.

At some point during the night, and during a rather lengthy (and ultimately pointless, other than my joy of driving) drive today, I have changed my mind. I said I wasn't going to be a typical blogger, but I am now going to blog about driving and the things that seem to govern most "bad" driver's habits.

When I see an accident, a few things go through my mind; Hoping everybody is alright, wondering what caused the crash, wondering about all the aftermath, being glad it wasn't me (again), and wondering how so many people somehow got their hands on a drivers license. This all happens in a matter of a few seconds, which is also about the same amount of time it takes for an collision to become an immediate possibility and then to happen.

So many of these incidents could have been avoided if the drivers had been paying attention to the things outside of their car, more than what was happening inside their car. Things like texting, searching for something on an IPod (or radio), talking on the phone (hands free or otherwise, it makes no difference in safety), checking an email, arguments with other passengers, trying to find a CD on the floor/seat, and my personal favorite: talking on the phone and folding laundry. All of these things happen every day, and every night. It boggles my mind really. I had an epiphany back in 1997, during a drivers ed class. There is always a destination in mind when you get into a car. Always. (Maybe not the most life changing epiphany, but it has saved me often enough to consider it a life extending epiphany.) It doesn't make any difference whether that destination is work, school, the store, the mall, a friends house, a lovers house, your house, the court house, or even if the point of the drive IS the drive itself. The point of the drive is to get to a place, and usually expecting to return to where you left from. Why in the world would anybody want to risk not making it to that destination? Why do people allow themselves to act like their car is merely an extension of their living room? Are people really that self absorbed?

I started taking driving very seriously back then, and still do today. I cannot claim that I am a perfect driver, or that I'm not guilty of receiving/sending the occasional text, making or taking a phone call, or trying to find a CD. And there have been some close calls in the time I've spent on the roads. But my car has never been anything more than a car. A vehicle to transport my lazy ass several miles a hell of a lot faster than I can walk or run. Cars are heavy, and can be quite lethal when mishandled. I think a lot of people forget about that last part. Sure, most accidents that happen are not lethal, or always involving serious injury. However, even when you can walk away under your own power, there is still one thing that is true: it didn't need to happen in the first place.

Most accidents are a direct result of some distraction. More often than not the distraction had absolutely nothing to do with any part of the car or the drive. Okay, driving on a country road in the middle of the night when there are no street lights to be found can make driving rather hazardous. When you encounter such a road, it's better to slow down a bit, and pay attention to nothing but the world outside your car. Anyway, barring that one example, most collisions don't need to happen. If you are behind the wheel of a car, and paying attention to the road and all the things on it and next to it, you can avoid a large majority of possible calamities. There is no need to follow so close to the car in front of you. There is usually no need to make any use of your phone while driving. Having a stereo is a must for me, but it doesn't need to be the focus of any given drive (I put my IPod on shuffle, and then push play before putting my car in gear). Having deep conversation, or arguing heavily are things that probably shouldn't happen when you are driving. On that last one, emotions have no place when you are behind the wheel. If an emotion has no relevance to the task at hand, it's gotta go. When an emotion occurs as a direct result of something that just happened while driving, don't let it get the best of you. This is important, very very important, and not always easy to do, but worth a shot at least.

Driving is some serious business, never to be taken lightly, or ever taken for granted. It doesn't matter if you drive a super car, or a jalopy, a car is a mode of transportation, not a toy. If you have a super car, take it to a race track before unleashing it, not your local highway or side street. And for the love of driving people, don't drink and then drive!!! And I should say, driving while exhausted really is just as dangerous as imbibing and driving! It shouldn't be so hard to pay attention to your surrounding, especially while driving.

With that said, a little routine maintenance on your car does wonders for how well it takes you places, remember that. Oh yeah, turn signals and safety belts are standard on every vehicle for a reason people, and they are very easy to use.

Safe travels y'all!

Thursday, 20 August 2009

Wacky World All Around

Hey y'all!

The world is a wacky place, I'm stuck in it, and I forgot my lunch today. Thanks to the rains we had all through the night, and continuing well into the morning today, I got to see 4 different types of spiders in the basement before the clock hit 6 a.m.. I saw 3 horses I haven't seen before, grazing in a small pasture before the clock hit 7 a.m.. I saw two car accidents before 8 a.m.. During the noon hour I saw an all white egret, just chilling on a fence post. And by 3 p.m. I saw the Buffalo Grove fire marshal. Then I drove back home. Everything that happened between those things was fairly inconsequential.

I have learned what happened to my Dell account now. As it turns out, by paying off a extraordinarily old revolving past due fee, on a different account, it created a red flag on my credit report (???), and Dell decided I wasn't a worthy customer anymore. Go figure. Who knew that by finally taking an initiative to pay off a past due fee, I would actually do more damage to my credit report???!!! How much sense does that make? Anybody have a good rational explanation for me? Speaking of credit, the government has once again stepped in to try to help the people. They have made some changes to the credit "laws", in order to take pressure off of us spenders. While I was hoping that it would be along the lines of forcing them to lower every body's interest rates, it wasn't. All they did was force creditors to send notice of interest changes 45 days in advance of changing it, instead of 15 days. Ooh ooh baby, that'll make a HUGE difference!!! Right? Oh, right...not really. Thanks Feds, you really saved our collective ass with that move.

I guess I don't need to mention this, as I'm once again convinced that my family members are the only ones to read this, but I went to see my family last weekend. I had to map out how to get there from my new residence, and I'm glad I did. I would have ended up going wayyyyy out of the way, had I taken the route I'd had in mind. Kind of like I did on my way home! In an attempt to back track, without being able to properly take the time to look at the maps I had printed out (yes that's right, printed out. I have no GPS, nor do I plan to get one any time soon, so there!). It's hard to explain what happened, so I won't. I'll just sum it up as a freaky happening with the compass and immovable roads. I was heading south, took an exit to go east for a while, and suddenly I had to take another right to return to traveling south... I was a little confused by this, as the first exit I took was NOT a roundabout, but merely a ramp. Wacky I tell you.

I recently was reunited with an old classmate on FB. By recently I mean on Monday. She's (Sabina) been living in Phoenix for the last few years, but is moving back this weekend. Shortly after she gets back we are going to meet up for a drink. It's been 12 years since we last talked, and I am really looking forward to seeing her again! The stupid part is (on my end that is) that I couldn't remember her when we first befriended on FB, a couple months ago. As it turns out, she was my partner in Psychology, back at Hersey. How I couldn't remember this I do not know, as that was one of the few classes I actually liked, respected, and nearly always attended! I felt a little foolish for not remembering who I was partnered with for almost the entire course. But hey, if any of you knew me back then, you may know why some of those memories have a few clouds floating through them. And I've always been terrible with remembering names. But hey, I remember her now, so yay!

In other news, the Cubs have been sucking some serious ass this week. They are playing out in Cali, and in California they never play day games. That means that all of the games don't start until 9 p.m. CST, and I don't like it when they start so bloody late! I caught a few innings of each game that they lost. Last night was the one time I didn't see a single second of the game, and they won! So I guess I should just stop watching the games altogether from here on out.......or not...

Alright, I think that's enough rambling for now. I think I'll go see if the pool still needs to be vacuumed. Then maybe play some guitar, or possibly just listen to somebody who really knows how to play a guitar, and just sing along. All I know is tomorrow is Friday, and 3 p.m. tomorrow can't get here fast enough!

I hope everyone is having a good week, had a good weekend (a little late, I know), and has a fantastic weekend starting tomorrow! Good food, and music, and laughter to all. Peace out!

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Doesn't Feel Like 2 Months

Midday moon.


Hey y'all!

Here I am, once again using the first sentence (in my usual run-on way) to extend apologies for lagging in my posting, to the few of you who may even still check my blog anymore. So there.

It's been a pretty good weekend so far. There was the usual Friday night party, one which I was actually awake for the majority of! I believe I have emerged fully from my reclusive life, and now feel okay when large gatherings of people are around. This party left the usual clean up the next day, even though I had started cleaning while it was still in full swing. I tend to stick to my floor for the cleaning process, and this weekend yielded a pair of left behind pants. We find left behind clothing regularly, but it's mostly layering clothes, and not main pieces, like say...pants. However, the story is not one of a sordid nature, but actually part of pre-party planning on the side of the attendee. She arrived in a dress, see. With her bathing suit on under it, and she brought the pants for the post swimming portion of the evening. I was a bit surprised by the fact that somebody actually took that into consideration for once! Our friend (by our I mean all of the residents of this house), TJ, brought over a lot of foreign people, from Australia, England (oh, right, sorry, I mean the "U.K."), and one Middle Eastern person. It was kind of amusing to me the next morning, when a large group of us went out to breakfast. A couple people were talking about how cool it was to actually be able to speak with non-american people in person. I almost laughed at that, but I often forget that not everybody is familiar with exchange programs, and not every school is fully mixed, so I didn't laugh, not out loud anyway...

Yesterday was used mainly for cleaning and recovery. While lending a small hand upstairs, I got to thinking about how long I've lived here. It really doesn't feel like two months already. My how the time flies. But I don't regret the choice, and I'm feeling mostly human again, so no real complaints to speak of. Plus I have met more new people in the last two months, than I have in the last four years combined. One might think I would have found a girlfriend by now, hell even I myself might have thought that. But I run into the same old dilemma's, either they are too young for my taste, or the more usual, already seeing/married to somebody. Oh well, one of these days.

Which brings me back to today. I am going to grill tonight, and once again the one who suggested it, and what to make, is not going to eat what was suggested. If you must know, I'm going to make burgers and corn on the cob. But she won't eat burgers. Go figure. It's cool though, I don't mind grilling. Although it is currently raining, but hey, I am a Dabrowski, and I grill in all weather!!! I suppose it might stop by the time I start the charcoal, but if it doesn't it's still cool with me. At this moment I am watching the Cubs game, and they need a rally rather desperately right now. It's happened before, and it can happen again! Okay, now I'm getting distracted, so I think I'll stop here.

I hope everyone had a similarly good weekend, and that everyone got in some good music, food and laughs! Peace out y'all.

Can anybody tell me what kind of spider this is?

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Whacky Monday, and a Past Weekend

Hey Y'all

It's been a while since I last posted, my sincere apologies to those who might have missed me. All too many little things have happened since that post. First off, one week removed, I'd like to pat myself on the back once again (ha ha ha) for fixing my own car. Nothing quite like saving a decent chunk o' money. You see, I had a broken hose (never a good thing), and VW wanted to charge me a whole lot to replace it. I opted to do it myself.


This is the problem I had with the old hose:


This is what it's supposed to look like:


The hose is upside down in the first picture (in case you were confused).

Since I swapped it out, I haven't really noticed an upswing in MPG, but it runs a whole lot smoother, and quieter, so YAY! And all in all it only cost me $55, and 10 minutes of my time (most of which was spent trying to get the original hose clamps off, as they weren't designed to be removed. I also found out that a service some dick, I mean VW Employee that I didn't know, told me I needed, I didn't really need. I was informed of that when I talked to John Paul, who I always try to work with, told me that I did not need that service, so again...YAY! Okay, enough on cars.

That same weekend I started my Friday evening by paying off a long (really really long) overdue late fee. That alone made me feel way better about things. I can pay my bills now, and eat, and still have money left when I get paid again, which is a great feeling that I had forgotten all about. I over paid my Dell account, and felt pretty good about that too. However, today I got another bill from them, and it turns out that they have closed my account, as of 4 days after my recent payment! I called. They based it off of something on my credit report, and my "past" with them. However, my interest rate is now ridiculously high! They tell me that a letter had been mailed to me, at my current address, last month...I never got that letter... So now I am waiting on said letter via e-mail. I haven't gotten that either, although I did get an email confirming that they have my current email address! The perfect thing to happen, just when I start thinking that things are looking much better, and I was planning to apply for a regular credit card.

After I was finished dealing with a computer company rep on the other side of the planet, I heard voices upstairs. When I went up, there was nobody home. I thought that was a bit odd. I came back downstairs, and a short while later I heard another person talking upstairs. Again, I went to investigate, only to find no other humans around. I checked all of the stereos to make sure nothing was on, and they weren't. Odd. If it persists, I'll just add to the list of things to do around here. It's been a fun Monday since I got home from work. Now I'm going to try relaxing.

I hope everybody had a great last couple of weekends, and that everyone heard some awesome music, and had good times and good eats :) Peace out y'all!

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Gas and Stuff...

Hey Y'all!

One of these days I might get back to posting on a regular basis. The main issue regarding the lack of writing (and chatting, sorry to you guys too!) is that my computer is in the basement, and I tend to spend most of my time where the sun shines, or rain falls as the recent situation with the wonderful world of weather has provided us midwesterners of late. In short this means that I am not in front of my keyboard non stop like I used to be. This is not a bad thing for me, but I fear I may be losing readers :( Okay, on with the blogging!

I hate Comcast. I could just leave it at that I suppose, but why would I do a thing like that? I wouldn't, ha!!! Here's the low down. I like having my own network, see? I have my own 'puters, my own modem, and my own router. But, as it is, there's some bull hockey regulation in IL that disallows me, and everyone else, from having 2 modems operating in one house at any given time. Put simply that means I can't have my own network. Now, that wouldn't be too bad, except every time the other modem, or router, or Brent's computer has an issue, it knocks out my connection. If his computer is off, I have no connection. If something happens, and he's still doing something online, I have to wait for him to finish before I can reset everything. See, I was cruising along just fine with my own network, but then Comcast had to stick their big nose into things, and killed the good thing I had going. I could get my own account, but not another modem. How wacky is that???! It also means that I can't use my printer, which is not a good thing either (No, my printer is not compatible with Vista :( ) That affects my ability to print out confirmation's. It also means that I can't scan any photos to post online either here or on FB!!! Not cool at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I was looking forward to reading a "letter" from a certain lady (you know who you are...) today, as she told me that she'd devote her Friday night to doing just that. Oh well, I suppose I'll survive. The Cubs won today!!! The sun is shining for once today :) And after I'm finished here, I believe I'll go bask in it for a while. Also I got 34+ mpg from my last tank of gas! I went out for a drive today, just for the sake of burning fossil goo. I was going to get gas shortly after heading out, as my fuel reserves were running low. Instead, I decided to just cruise around until the gas light beeped at me. I kept driving and driving and driving, listened to almost the entire Cubs game on the radio. Side note : During which I heard them say that two huge Cubs fans were watching on their 17th anniversary, Matt and Patty Berardi! Matt's my boss, see. So I called him, wondering if it was indeed him and it was. I had no idea why Matt was taking a long weekend, but now I know, and I congratulated them. Back to the drive, I drove for a very long time until the light finally turned on. When I pulled into a nearby gas station, another VW pulled up to the pump behind me. I was kind of giddy about how many miles I had gotten, I told the other V Dub driver about it. He was rather shocked when he assumed it was a TDI, and I informed him that it was in fact a regular '02 GTI, not a diesel! Here's a picture...

Hee hee hee! And it's only a 13 gallon tank :)

On that note, I'm going to head back to ground level.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend, and that good music and good foods and laughter is a large part of it!

Peace out y'all.

Thursday, 2 July 2009

It's Frirsday!

Hey Y'all!

It's Friday on Thursday, and I fear I may forget this and forget to turn off my alarm clocks tonight! Okay, probably not. My apologies for having not written in so long, but life's been busy, and time's been spent on action instead of relaxation. Much has transpired since my last posting, and here's a condensed list:

The basement was re-carpeted on a Thursday, and on Friday night the basement flooded

Lot's of new people have been met

A few old friends have reunited

A couple of mice have been killed (and even more bugs too)

About 100 mosquito bites have been scratched

I found out I'm getting 30.75 mpg (YAY!!!!!!!)

Comcast once again proved just how idiotic they are (again I say!!!!)

A fence has been rehung, and another fence stained

The basement is nearly livable again (computers set up and running, same for the entertainment system)

And much much more!

Okay, like I said, it was a rather condensed list. But really, I have been so exhausted at the end of most days since I moved here, that I have felt amazingly uninspired to post anything. I just didn't know where to start. However, today after work I came home and finished unpacking the majority of my stuff, and got all the empty boxes and garbage out of the basement. That makes me feel exceedingly more relaxed and focused! Marley is sitting next to me, having been granted the right to sit on my couch again. I've said before that Marley is an attention whore, but he had really come into his own in this new dwelling. Even those who suffer from feline allergies like him (and quite a few sufferers have stopped by in the last month)! Stephanie (Brent's girlfriend) keeps threatening to do unspeakable things to him, but I have yet to come home, or wake up to find him with anything in his hair...yet....

I've wanted to go off about some of the political crap going on in this state, and how it really doesn't jive with the current state of this state! But right now I'm looking forward to a long weekend, so I will spare you all. I know how much everybody likes my ramblings and all, but I'm just not in the mood. So on that note, I'm going to go find something to do, or a good spot to enjoy not doing anything.

Peace out y'all! I hope everyone has a great long weekend, or even a great regular weekend! Go start a controlled fire, cook an animal or two, and have some laughs with friends, as that is your rite in this land of ours! And don't forget to put on some great tunes!!!

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Where There Is Smoke There Is Fire....or is there?

Hey y'all!

Today has been a long one for me. I got up at 5:30, got to work at 6:40, worked until 3:30, and got back home at 4:43. Of course all of that started in the a.m. and concluded in p.m., CST. The one real upside to the day was that I fit a box as long as my car into my car, and without having to stick either end out of a window OR the hatch! Essentially my car was acting the roll of a T.A.R.D.I.S. today, and I liked it, hee hee hee! Damn, now I really want to watch some Doctor Who, but all my stuff is still in the garage, double damn! Not for much longer though, as tomorrow the new carpeting for this basement gets installed!!! I just hope it can all be completed in one day. Crap, I haven't talked with Stephanie about making sure Marley stays upstairs tomorrow...remind me to do that after I finish this posting (oh, right...it doesn't work that way).

Let's see, it's been 11 days since my last post, right? Right. A bunch o' crap has gone down in that time. I'm not sure where to start really. Here goes: the house has been painted on both floors (which of course involved all kinds of patching and sanding and cursing), the window trims have been stained, all the outlet/light switch covers stained or painted and replaced, floors scarped and painted, bathroom fixtures replaced, lots of shopping for supplies, the pool has been cleaned and shocked, and then cleaned again, about a half ton of garbage has been removed, tempers lost and then regained (partly thanks to Marley and his purr factor when held), light fixtures removed and replaced (involving time spent in the attic, squeezing into tight spots, and involving one split lip and some insulation slivers....fun fun), more patch work, and about a cumulative of 600 miles of gas burned for everything it took to get the house to the state it's in now. Then there was always the time spent not working on the house, and just relaxing and laughing, and having some good eats. I even busted out my grill this last weekend!!! I made Kabobs, with a side of potato salad (the potato salad was not grilled), and it was enjoyed by all but Brent, who it turns out doesn't like green pepper, onion, celery or pickles...go figure. But hey, at least he ate the meat from the kabobs, and liked it!

Some time after I got home today, I felt inspired to start a mini bonfire. However, the weather gods seem to have gotten together, and conspired against me, yet again. So the slightly dampened wood would not succumb to the power of tiny fire. I did get a whole lot lot of smoke, but no actual fire. Oh, and just so you know, I am not a proponent of using accelerates to start a recreational fire. So oh well, I'll have to wait for another day. Unfortunately, the forecast this week calls for storms all week. Speaking of storms, it's JUNE! What the hell is going on here??? Oh right, global warming. Wait wait wait, it makes sense. The melting of the northern ice fields will cause massive cold air masses, causing big storms, and lots of cooler weather patterns. But before anybody thinks I buy into this global warming conspiracy, let me just say that this planet has been going through drastic weather changes for many many millenia, long before any of us puny humans were even barely walking around on this rock. So ha!

Okay, there is a rumor of some food going on upstairs, and as I'm tired and hungry...scratch that, exhausted and famished, I am going to go investigate!

Peace out y'all! Until next time, make sure to laugh once in a while, and maybe smile from time to time as well!

Saturday, 6 June 2009

One Week

Hey y'all

I was hoping to start this off with a "Cub's WIN!", but they didn't....damn. On the other hand, I just put in a new Dave Matthews Band album, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King, and so far it's pretty damn good. Today I was able to sleep in, and that was nice. But once I took the covers off, and put my feet on the cold floor, the celebration of no alarm clock abruptly ended. I felt a quick shiver course through me, and reality struck again. That's right, still no carpeting. I've been living here for a full week now, and I still feel like nothing more than an extended stay guest. I'd really like to know when the carpet guys are going to show up! I have no place of my own at the moment. My bedroom has nothing more than a bed in it, and for several years now I have not spent any time in my bedroom for anything but sleeping. I am not feeling content. I need my own space to dwell. But until the carpeting is installed downstairs, I've got no such place. It's damn near impossible to make one's self comfortable in the main living room for that matter. I have patience to spread around, but at the moment it seems to be running quite thin.

I have the house to myself at this moment. The other two are out attending a Beatles concert. Okay, a cover band, not the ghosts of the real band. I found out about this event last night. I told Brent that I was planning to get all the fixings for a revival of my grill, and he told me that they wouldn't be home because of said concert. Go figure. So my poor grill has yet to be fired up.

Knowing I wouldn't be cooking today, I set off to do some other things. I took a large garbage bag containing the carpeting from the basement stairs to the dumpster at my work. Then I headed to Goodwill, to donate some clothes, and buy a couple of things. Among which is a Star Trek pinball game. I haven't played it yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to tonight. I have had a dull headache roaming around my head all day, okay more like all week. Again I ask, when are the carpet people showing up???! After departing Goodwill I headed to a contractor store, to try and find something to protect a couple of structures in the basement, but I was unable to find anything suitable. So the search goes on. Having no luck at that store, I crossed the expanse of the parking lot to a book store. It was there that I got the tunes I'm listening to now. I wanted to get the latest Dresden File's book, but they wanted $26 for it, and although I had the money, I decided to wait for it to come out in paper back. After leaving that store I headed back here. As predicted, the house was empty of other life (except for Marley that is). So I cleared off a small portion of the couch and caught the rest of the Cubs game on the boob tube. I think I'm gonna go face the cold now, take a shower and read a few pages, and then get some sleep. I tried finding a space heater today as well, but it seems that they have all been pulled from the shelves in favor of fans and air conditioners. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow I'll find one. For now I bid you all adieu. I hope everyone is having a good weekend, and that the good music flows and laughter ensues!

Peace out y'all!

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

It's Only Tuesday???

Hey Y'all!

I know it's been a while since I last posted. However, this time I will not be apologizing for the delay, as I'm way too tired. The reason for the delay was....you guessed it, I moved! As excited as I was about the process (in the last day before the event that is), it turned out to be not so peachy. All of my stuff is currently in the "garage", except for my bed, and some clothes (and this computer). I knew that there was going to be some rehab work in the basement, I just wasn't quite ready for everything that has been involved in bringing it back to a habitable place to reside.

Whoever designed this house was clearly not thinking about future residents. For example: my bedroom. There are three outlets in it. All of which are placed 4 feet above the floor, and on one wall, located about one and a half feet apart from each other! What's the hell is up with that?! Okay, my only thought is that that room was initially used as a wood shop, with a work bench. I guess it could have been a computer room, but this house kind of out dates the age of PC's as we know them today. The room also gets rather chilly as well. That is all fine and dandy while I'm sleeping, but the initial removal of my blanket in the morning is quite the shiver inducing event. It wakes up my body, but makes my eyes and feet want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers. Oh, did I mention that the floor is currently made of granite tile? I don't think I did. Not to worry too much though, it will be carpeted soon enough. I do like the look of the flooring, but for a subterranean room they just don't work well. Ya know?

The move itself went fairly well however. Except for that whole thing of not being able to bring any of my stuff inside yet! Okay, okay, it's only for a little while longer (deep breath). I guess it's really better that way though, seeing as there was an incident with a mouse this weekend. After removing a lot more of the crap that the last underground residents, and some older previous housemates left behind, a mouse got in. Marley used to be much better at catching such rodents, but I fear that in his later years, he just doesn't care much anymore. However, mouse traps were purchased, and one of them worked. On the other hand, I think that the mold in the carpeting I removed, and the pillows I helped to dispose of (don't ask), and the bed that has removed as well, has more to do with the one off feeling I've had the last few days than that mouse did. On the bright side, the work in the basement is very near complete, and now it's just a matter of waiting for the carpet installers to show up, hopefully sooner than later! As for the temp in my bedroom, there is a space heater floating around here somewhere, I just don't like the looks of it so I have not made any use of it. Instead I try to think back to my old bedroom in Boxwood, during the winter. It doesn't help much, but just enough to get me out of bed, so I can't knock it.

Today it took me over an hour to get to work. That was due to my choice of roads, so oh well. The amazing part is that one of my drivers called me to inform me that he got stuck by a freight train, and a few minutes later my other driver sent me a text to let me know he had just been pulled over, and would be there asap! I was only 10 minutes late, and I beat both drivers there by a good 10 minutes as well! But hey, considering I'm almost always 15 minutes early, I rarely take any vacation time, and I almost never take any sick days, I deserve to be late once or twice a year........right? RIGHT! Okay, I could go on quite a bit more about all the happenings this weekend and beyond, but I am in need of some shut eye!

I will try to keep you all posted more regularly, but until I am fully situated I can't make any promises. I hope you are all doing well, or at least fairly well!

Until next time, peace out y'all!

Thursday, 28 May 2009

The Great Wall of My Crap (...Stuff)

Hey Y'all

I am sitting here listening to the radio. Yes, you read the right, the radio. As static crackles just behind the signal, I am reminded of how important music is to me. At the same time as the F.M. signal fills my ears, I am sitting in my computer chair with my legs propped up on the box that will soon be housing the stereo that is giving me some relaxation right now.

A short distance from me is a wall of boxes, pieced together as only a Tetris pro can stack them. Those boxes are filled with most of my worldly crap. Oh wait...I meant to say worldly possessions. Right. As moving goes, I think this is about as well packed as I've ever been. That is to say, there are never enough boxes to fit all of the things I use to make my daily life manageable. But for once, almost everything has a box.

Today has been a bit of a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions for me. I feel peculiarly sad about leaving this building. Not because I have loved being here, but more because I once again learned how to be humble in this building. I learned some major life lessons, and suffered some of those lessons alone, within the walls of this structure. I had been living at the other end of this building for nearly two and a half years. When at that side, I learned how to become an introvert again. I rarely had any visitors, nobody ever called, and I never really went out (except for the walks to the gas station to get smokes). I have so many stories I could share about my time spent down the hall, but I won't do that now. What I will say is that I moved to this apartment #, and one random knock on my door started me back towards the path of being an extrovert. Although that reversal may have gotten me into more trouble than I wanted, and caused a few people to scratch their heads in confusion, it was still a good knock. I have one person to thank for that, and her name is Jessica (aka, my crazy neighbor). I have a few mixed emotions about having met Jessica, and for good reason, but I still need to give her credit for forcing me out of my self constructed shell. I know for a fact that she doesn't read this, but I am still giving her a shout out regardless.

Back to the here and now: The weather prediction has changed since this morning, and it's not cool! For some reason I always seem to have the great fortune of moving during some kind of storm. But, on the bright side, at least this go around it's just some rain and lightning instead of snow and hail and subzero temps! Oh the other hand, tomorrow is going to be a crazy morning at work. Everybody and their cousins decided to order a mother load of supplies today. Which is great for job security, but not good for my drivers' moral, especially on a Friday. But hopefully when they depart, I will be able to secure a mere half day of work. I don't normally request such a thing, but as I need to take care of a small amount of last minute things that can't be taken care of until tomorrow, I'd be mildly pleased to catch a break in time restriction.

I wasn't planning on this night being my last night in this apartment. However, my assistance has been called on, to help with the preparation of the house, so that I can move into it in a better condition. As confusing as that may be, even to me, it needs to be done. Hey, somebody needs to do it, right? Right. Wait...RIGHT! Okay, I guess I should get myself some sleep soon. I'm going to need all the rest I can get before the madness begins once again...

This may be my last post for a few days. It is, however, my last posting from this location. It feels kind of surreal actually. I started this blog, right here in this apartment after all. I don't know how my next set of walls will affect me, or my writings, but I plan to find out, and then to share with all of you! Until then, I continue to wish everybody good eats, good tunes, great laughs, and overall well being! Have yourselves a great weekend!!!

Peace and love y'all!

(All communications from this position are here by ceased. Over and out)

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

WHAT???!!!

Hey y'all

Oh wow, has it been a wonderful day. Last night, during a conversation with a new friend, I found out something about an old "friend". The information obtained was not of the warm and fuzzy variety, but more the swallow a sword and take a shot of salt kind. I know how blackouts can be a bit of a problem at times, and a worry at that, but how I missed all my actions last year is beyond me. It seems that at some point last year, I spent quite a while obsessing over a certain woman, and on top of that, I was stalking her. Now I know, this comes as no surprise to anybody...........oh wait! Yes it does! Most of all, ME!!!!!!!!!!! What, in all of the gibbletygook out there, is that about?! I remember the conversing with said woman fairly well, and it seems to me that she was the one trying to hang out with me... But hey, I guess it's every woman's prerogative to change her mind about events, and how those events transpired. Right? Oh, hold on, no! Not like that! I mean come on! This reminds me of the time I spent in high school, and why I was unable to get a girlfriend that attended the same school after the start of my sophomore year. Rumors, lies, and weak minds. That girl told me that she was breaking up with me because I wouldn't quit smoking, when instead, she told everybody else that I was a chauvinistic bastard, who wanted nothing but sex. Now normally, in a spot like this i would simply say "people. I tell ya". But in this case, I will risk a few castrations, and say: Women, I tell ya!

Okay then. With that off my chest (almost), I will move on. So today started off alright, excluding the first memory I had of last night, upon waking this morning. I was able to sleep in a bit, shower at a leisurely pace, and prepare myself for the work day for a little longer than usual. However, about the time I pulled out of my parking lot, a sudden cluster headache attacked my head and neck. For those of you unaware of what a cluster headache is, imagine a migraine (or if you're lucky enough to have never felt one of those, just a really really bad noggin splitter), and then focus that migraine into small spots in your head. Then, that small spot of blinding pain moves around from one hemisphere to the other, as well as front to back. It effects everything from the top of the neck, to the sinus', to the eyes, and everything in between, in no particular order or expectancy. It's a blast, let me tell you. At least the phone didn't ring too much today. However, there was a meeting with one of our supply reps, and I kept wincing my eyes (trying not to grunt from the discomfort) which got me some funny looks from the account rep. I lasted the duration of the work day, and had a fairly good lunch at the midway point, yay! As I was driving home my phone started ringing. Thinking it would be one of a few people, i answered it in a somewhat happy manner. It turned out to be a woman from my current management co., asking me if it would be okay with me to let them show another person my apartment. I wanted soooo badly to snap at her, and say "NO! NO IT"S NOT!!!!!" in a resounding fashion. But I bit my tongue, and said instead "Yeah, I guess." Thinking she would end the conversing there, I discovered I was wrong. Instead, she told me that another guy had mentioned to her that I have a cat. She then proceeded to inform me that this building has a no pet policy. Really? I didn't f'ing know that. Then she asked how long I've had him here, and I did something I despise doing. I twisted the flow of time, and told a bit of a lie. I told her that my ex had just moved in with somebody that is allergic to cats, and I got my cat back from her just a short time ago. I've probably just cursed myself for repeating that. Oh well, what's another curse in my life going to do? Make me more unhappy? Ha! That'll be the day... Now I just wonder if I'll get any less of my security deposit, which originally was way more than what I pay for rent at this apartment. I guess time will tell.

In happier news, I've just ordered a pizza from Lou Mal's (Malnatis), yay!!! It should be here in a little while (again, YAY!!!), so I should wrap this up now, as to not be smearing tomato sauce on this keyboard when said pie arrives. I hope everybody had a better time of their day today, than I did! My good eats are on the way, and I hope everybody else has/had some good eats today as well! Good music for all, and have a laugh or two for me!

Peace out y'all!

Monday, 25 May 2009

One Week More

Hey y'all!

Sorry to leave everyone hanging like that! As most of you know, I started to move this weekend. It started off well enough, until I went into the basement that is. It needs work, lots of work. More than just hole patching and paint. Yippee! I started flipping out (internally, as in, in my head), and had to make a bit of an adjustment to my pride. And don't even get me started on the backyard. Today, Brent and I pulled the remains of what was once a full size couch, from the fire pit!!! It had burned completely down to the springs. I was awed by the audacity of people. Or, as I usually say...people, I tell ya! In good news, the 3 of us (well the two full time residents, and one part time resident) went out for breakfast yesterday, and afterward headed to a local dollar store. It was the best dollar store I've ever been too! Granted, not everything was a dollar, but almost everything was brand name, and for about 1/16 the price of going to a big box store! Whoo hoo! Being a guy, I shop like a guy. Have list, know exactly what I want, and where to get it, and then: go-gather-get the hell out. However, even I can be happy about saving boatloads of money on everyday household stuff!

Now, as I write this, I am sitting back at my apartment, staring at everything left to pack, and how much there is to throw out. Have I ever told you how much I just love the process of moving?! To top that all off, it's Memorial Day, and there's nothing on TV that I want to watch! Stupid holiday weekend marathons...grumble grumble... That's okay though, as I should continue packing and cleaning, oh joy.

I will try to keep up with this blog as often as I can over the next week. There may be a bit of a delay come then end of this week, as I don't have a new email address yet, and I fear that once my current DSL is disconnected I won't be able to log in to my blog... I will work that out as soon as I can figure out how! Until then, I hope everybody had a great weekend!

Peace out y'all!

Friday, 22 May 2009

Another One Bites the Dust (sad day)

Hey y'all

Today started off crappy, and the got worse as it went along. I woke up a few minutes late, grabbed a quick shower, then forgot I didn't have any clean dishes (cereal bowl or glass specifically). I decided to grab breakfast at McD's instead of taking the 30 seconds it would have taken me to wash 1 bowl and one cup. Silly me. But it's payday, and I do, from time to time, treat myself to breakfast prepared by somebody else. I didn't have enough time to go to a proper sit down joint this morning, so I hit the Donald. Bad decision, because when I got my food, and pulled around to park I discovered that the hash browns were burnt pretty much black, and the sandwich tasted like it had been sitting somewhere other than a heating rack, and not re-microwaved. So I forwent eating more than two bites. A large amount of the populous go's without breakfast, but with my stupid metabolism I cannot do that without suffering. But I sucked it up, and just drank the coffee instead, which also sucked. So after I got my drivers on the road, and a last minute return processed, I went online to check my email. As I opened up the email I got from the Kathy and Judy Show, the clock hit 9 a.m., when the Kathy and Judy Show starts on WGN Radio. Before I could read the first sentence, they started reading what it contained, live on the air. They have been deemed canceled, by the newer management at that station. So today was their last show. Their producer of the last 8 years or so, put together an amazing tribute, which they played in segments throughout the 3 hour slot they've held for nearly 20 years. It was funny as hell, but then when Beth introduced the personal tribute she had made for them, she started crying on the air. That was it, I started tearing up, but restrained myself, as it's never a good thing to answer the phone while blubbering like an idiot. (That's right, men do cry on occasion) When I started working in the office years ago, and was forced to listen to WGN Radio all day long, I couldn't stand them. For the first few days, and then the first Sex Thursday I'd heard came around, and I started liking them a little bit more. They have grown on me considerably since then, always finding ways to make me laugh, even on my darkest down and out days. Anyway, as the morning dragged by, and my stomach became more and more displeased with me, I couldn't bring myself to go get an early lunch, as I didn't want to miss a second of their final show. So when noon finally came, I went to get lunch, one costing more than $3. But by the time I got back to the office, the fries were cold, and the ribeye steak sandwich was rather fatty through and through. So I've barely eaten anything to day, my favorite show on the radio is no more, and I felt like complete ass all day. On a plus side, it was so quiet at work today that I got to go home an hour early. My sister got a kick ass tattoo today, and she sent me a pic on my phone. That is a wicked awesome, baddass, cool tatt Lisa!!! You are the first person I know that has a comedy/tragedy ink job, so rock on! Okay, I need to find some food now, hopefully more palatable than my first two attempts went today!

Peace out y'all! For those of you that get to enjoy a 3 day weekend, have some fun with it (and don't drink and drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Good music and eats and laughs to all!

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Mental Race, Me VS Me

Hey y'all

Riddle me this: Why won't my mind just slow down on it's own? The last few days have been difficult, in my head that is. The stress I feel before a move is always hard, but I haven't felt this way since I broke up with Jenny. That experience was much more understandable, even for me, but why I'm feeling the same way now is peculiar to me. I guess it's just the fear of losing my independence, and forcing myself to engulf myself in other peoples issues. I just hope this synapse relay stops when I actually make the move. I can smile now, but I'd love it to be closer to genuine...

Yesterday I was in the presence of a man twice my age, who was trying to explain multicultural living to me, but was coming off as more as a man trying to justify it for himself. I just don't get that anymore. Most likely because I never thought twice about my neighbors being of different ethnicity's when I was a wee one. But still, it's 2009, and there are still people within 20 miles of Chicago that feel that way?! Let me put it this way, for all the mildly racist mofo's out there: Everybody acts the same, we just have different languages, different accents, and different belief systems. But we all know how to laugh, and cry, and sing, and sit in silence, and everything else. Everybody has the potential to be a jackass, just as everybody has the ability to be nice. Enough with the fear and prejudice already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today went alright, I guess. Upon waking, I noticed that my phone's alarm seems to have made it's own decision to work silently. But as I woke up on my own, it was no big deal. I didn't get much sleep, as I was IMing with somebody until a few minutes after midnight. I may not be a spring chicken anymore, but it was nice to know that I can still operate on only a few hours of sleep. I may have done so in a slightly dazed haze, but I still managed! I did feel quite a bit of guilt over a discussion I got into earlier last night. It took most of the day to shake the feeling, and I'm still not quite over it. I hope to make amends soon. I really need to shed some of the stress I've been putting on myself about this whole moving thing. I've been picking more fights than I like to, and my dark side has been coming out with much more regularity. Not cool! I may not always be the happy guy, but I'm not normally this mental for so many days in succession either. Somethings gotta give!!!

I did pack up the majority of my kitchen today, sans the coffee maker and the dishes. Marley was so surprised by the lack of blockage in the cabinets that he fell off the counter! Yes, he's okay... I've finally made peace with my mind over one thing. I will keep most of my kitchen appliances, and some of my dishes. The table is going to go, as are the stupid chairs I have for it, but everything else will be boxed up and stored. I just wish that this weekend wasn't a holiday weekend, as it will be rather rude to start taking up space with all my boxed up things during a party. Once again, when I need to get something done it turns out to be some kind of holiday weekend, when things are closed or otherwise encumbered with the general population celebrating something that they know very little about! That, as I've said too often, is just my kind of luck! Ha ha on me! The curse lives on...

One of these days I will have more amusing things to write about, as well as having a slightly less self absorbed mind. Soon I tell you, soon! For now I am just going to listen to some music, sip my beverage, try to relax a little, and prepare for the redo tomorrow morning.

Peace out y'all! Turn on a good song, of your choice, regardless of it's intended emotion inducing intent, and just enjoy it for a few minutes in what ever way you feel is best! 'Til next time, I bid you all adieu.

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Moving Pundit Speak

Hey y'all

The delay in posting was due to my computer acting more disgruntled than me. So on it's behalf, I will extend apologies to you, the reader. Sorry.

So the move is approaching rapidly, and my boxes are filling at a sloths pace. I just don't know what I can, or rather should, just throw away. I'm not sure what to do about my bed. Most things I own should probably be taken to the dump, but I have ethical issues with that. Goodwill is an option, but when it comes to everything in my kitchen, I just don't know. The microwave is not needed, or the toaster, or any of the silverware (albeit it not actual silver) or my dishes. As most of my dishes has been handled by me and my occasionally clumsy ex for the duration of their use, most everything is cracked, or just plain gone. So as much as I may think it wise to pack it, and store it, I may be better off just buying new table wares whenever I move out on my own again (or maybe even not alone, depending on what the future holds for me). I can't stand walmart, but Super Target is my newer shopping destination. Then there is always my poor computer desk. I got that desk when I got my first apartment, and through several moves since, it's time may have come. Again, I hate to do it, but since it was purchased at IKEA, I'm fairly certain I can find a new one on the cheap when the time comes. One thing I'd love to discard of is Marley's chair. The indestructible IKEA chair (you know the one), that turns out is not so solid, as my forearm found out several months ago. So it's not so much good for human use these days, but for feline relaxation it works just dandy! Enough about my indecisiveness...

There have been some stories in the news of late that have gotten my blood simmering. I really need to stop watching the news, and turn off all the speakers on the office phones that sit in clear audible proximity to my desk there. In the warehouse my MP3 sound blaster takes care of that, but it's not for use up in the office. Oh well. I do find it all too amusing though, that the politicians are now starting to once again talk about raising taxes, while others are talking about reform in the system, and don't even get me started on Chicago's current mayor! Stop raising taxes, and fire all the redundant employees!!! If they really want to save millions of dollars, just the firing of pointless jobs would take care of that. I have many other ideas as well, but this is not a political blog, so I won't pretend it is! One last comment on that: Why the hell do we keep sending hundreds of millions of dollars to countries that don't care about us, nor will ever pay us back?! We have problems here, give us our money back damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, there was in fact a long lapse in time since I wrote that last paragraph and now. You can all thank my crazy neighbor for that one! But since my mindset has gone way off course, and I've lost the rhythm with which I was writing, I guess I'll end this now. Sorry, I didn't even want to end this on a pundit vibe. So I guess I'll drag this out a bit more! I just turned on that stupid massive talent show (of which I usually only watch the auditions), and some guy just said "peace out", causing me not to want to use that word combo anymore! Son of a bitch! Eh, screw that, I've been using that for a long time, and as I can actually claim that I have experience with both ghetto punks and hippie freaks, I have every right to use it! So on that note, peace out y'all!!! Go listen to some music!

Monday, 18 May 2009

Mindsets, Hard Drives, and Life

Hey y'all!

I'm gonna have to keep this short, as this computer's hard drive is working mad overtime for some reason. I can only figure that it's been compromised by some malevolent person, or maybe by me spouting off about things that certain people would say I have no right to talk about.

This past weekend had some weird moments. mainly concerning my crazy neighbor. In the interest of fairness, some of the moments were with my soon to be house mates. In any case, my mind has been flipping out on more axles than usual. I am here though, and I am trying to remain stable, though some might say I am not doing so hot at it... For instance, I have once again been abusing a social website by sharing personal revelations best kept here, where random people who have no understanding of who I am have no ability to read about topics that I find myself dabbling in. This time, it's not such a heated debate, just debate plain and simple. I can't seem to stop myself from such things. I have no training, and no degree stating I should be able to talk about any of the things I tend to dwell on. Yet random people have started telling me that I write almost too well. I need to remember that I can't let that get to me! I am not anybody's hero, or a great debater, or a philosopher...I am just a simple man barely getting by. That is all I want to be. I'd rather just slip by, and do my thing, and go unnoticed. Why do I keep screwing that up??!!!! Oh wait... I need to break out of my inner hell, and remember how to be social! Hold on a second, the reason I am so antisocial is because of my brain, and that I can't seem to do much but go on about shit that doesn't really matter to almost anybody I've ever talked with! Right!

Okay, this computer is about to crash, so I must end this now, which is definitely a good thing for anybody reading this! Go listen to some good music, chill out, laugh, eat something good, and generally be yourself!

Peace out y'all!

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Moving, Marley, Thievery and the Cubs

Hey y'all

Okay, done bitching about dreading moving! Although it will still cause quite literal pain in my back (thought I was gonna say ass didn't you?!), and the move is a hassle and a half, I now now that it will indeed be happening. Aren't they gonna be in for a shock though! While I made an appearance there earlier today (as to avoid being home when the new potential renter was looking at all my stuff), I discovered that I will be living with an incessant matchmaker. Although I did start telling her that I am not down with the one night stand, or really even flings for that matter, it's not gonna stop. It seems that in my absence, operation "Get Dave a girlfriend (aka: Get Dave laid)" has commenced. Silly them I say! All I know is I don't get along well with people trying to hook me up with random unknown women all the time. I will let that be known, and should soft words of discouragement be listened to with deaf ears, I will try to keep the subtle and suppressed rage in check... Me getting upset about things? Um, yes, yes I do. One of a few faults I have. I may be a proponent of paying it forward, though without expectation or want of personal gain. I also don't like people telling me what I need.

Okay, going back a few hours... After departing my future home I drove to my office to see just how long it's gong to take to get there in the morning. Having added time for the sake of knowing there is always more traffic on weekday morning, than say on a beautiful Saturday mid afternoon. It should be about 40 minutes, which isn't that bad, considering it takes me about 30 minutes to get there currently. Going from an 11 mile trip, to a 24 mile trip at that!

After leaving the office, I headed back home. Arriving, I found my bedroom door open, the ceiling fan on in the dining area, the interior bathroom door open, and clumps of Marley's hair in random spots. I can only assume that he let his presence be known in the company of total strangers, and he was rewarded with heavy petting for his braveness. All I know is whoever it was left with his hair all over them. Plainly they weren't allergic (phew!). Marley is such an attention whore. Also, none of my items were missing, yay! I know, I know, most people aren't thieves or cleptos. I still concern myself over such things though. The most odd thing ever stolen from me, was a tape adapter for a discman I owned in Oshkosh. My Sister's fiance at the time sold me his old car, for $1, may he rest in peace. The drivers side window had a tendency to fall off its track at random times. One morning I got into my car, and noticed the adapter was gone. About $23 in change, a nice(r) wrist watch, the discman, and everything else was still there though! Ha, talk about crimes of necessity!

Well I'm done for today. I hope everyone is having a good weekend! I found out an old acquaintance is going through a bit of a rough patch, and though she probably doesn't read this, I'd still like to extend my good wishes to Theresa. Okay then, off to other things!

Peace out y'all! Oh, and the Cubs came back in the bottom of the 9th, and won!!!!! I was singing Go Cubs Go quite loudly, and got some funny looks from the neighborhood kids as I drove past them :) Now it's your turn to sing something as loud as you can!!!!

Friday, 15 May 2009

Bartender please.....

Hey y'all

I'm not sure if the weather made my mood, or if my mood made the weather today. I had yet another night of horrible dreams, woke up late, didn't have time to eat breakfast, spent the entire morning starving, work was dull as hell, got an ear full of yelling for asking a question, the Cub's game was rained out (before it even started), I had no mail of any kind waiting for me when i got home, and I got a sobering email on top of all that. Oh, and it's been raining all day long, again. Oh right, I forgot that we're now under a flash flood warning... I just payed a bill, online, that I tried to set up to clear on the 23rd, but they wouldn't let me do that, so it'll go through on the 22nd instead, and probably before my payroll clears. yay. It's been almost worthy of the quote "It's been a horrible, no good, very bad day." But at least I know where my towel is, but I don't have a Babel fish in my ear... (although one would be handy from time to time)

On the so called bright side, I had amazing luck with green lights today. People seemed oddly willing to allow other people to change lanes, walk across the street without a crosswalk, turn left out of parking lots, and other random acts of kindness on the roads today! How peculiar... But hey, as somebody pointed out to me today (while I was sleeping) I seem to be sad sometimes. I do try to see all aspects of any given situation, including the ever elusive silver lining. For example, I may be dealing with a shitload of drama and other fun when it comes to my upcoming move, but it will be worth it, if only for the ability to use real fire to cook meats and the company I will have once again! The BS I'm dealing with at the moment will cease and desist soon enough. How's that for positive thinking? Oh damn, I may have just cursed myself by saying/typing that out loud, oh well! In the words of O.A.R "....Give me one shot at my life today. I don't want to be a stranger. I don't want to be just a passerby." Interpret that any way you want to, I just find that song to be inspirational to me. As low as my mind goes regularly, I do still have trace amounts of hope and aspirations. So there!

Maybe I should stop consideration for other bipeds. I am struggling to figure out what I should pack away before the new renter prospect shows up tomorrow. In my experiences hunting for non-homesteads, most of the time nobody was living there at the time. I hate feeling like I should do everything I can to make the potential renter feel at home when they show up. It's not as though I'm trying to impress them, or to welcome them into a warm place. I may be somewhat lazy when it comes to keeping my surroundings pristine, and neither is my place is a dump. I am not trying to sell this place, or rent it out to somebody. I am simply evacuating myself and my belongings in a couple weeks. I merely don't want anybody to be discouraged from renting this apartment for petty reasons, such as what hangs next to my door, or the fact that being a single and non metro sexual male means that I don't have this place set up to impress. Yet, still I care. I just know this wouldn't be such a big issue for me, if where I was moving wasn't currently occupied by bigger procrastinators. That said, I am still looking past that, and trying to focus more on the good things I will be able to realize once again.

All day I've been rough drafting this post, in my head. Amazingly, only a tiny bit of what I had composed actually made it's way into this! That's probably a good thing for you readers of my ramblings... Now that I brought that up I feel inspired to go there, but instead I will keep my insanity to myself. I hope that brings some kind of smile to you face!

Peace out y'all, and go have some fun for me! Drink (what ever you choose to), laugh, eat and be merry! I will turn on some music now, and try not to drink myself into a stooper on this Friday night.....