Thursday, 21 May 2009

Mental Race, Me VS Me

Hey y'all

Riddle me this: Why won't my mind just slow down on it's own? The last few days have been difficult, in my head that is. The stress I feel before a move is always hard, but I haven't felt this way since I broke up with Jenny. That experience was much more understandable, even for me, but why I'm feeling the same way now is peculiar to me. I guess it's just the fear of losing my independence, and forcing myself to engulf myself in other peoples issues. I just hope this synapse relay stops when I actually make the move. I can smile now, but I'd love it to be closer to genuine...

Yesterday I was in the presence of a man twice my age, who was trying to explain multicultural living to me, but was coming off as more as a man trying to justify it for himself. I just don't get that anymore. Most likely because I never thought twice about my neighbors being of different ethnicity's when I was a wee one. But still, it's 2009, and there are still people within 20 miles of Chicago that feel that way?! Let me put it this way, for all the mildly racist mofo's out there: Everybody acts the same, we just have different languages, different accents, and different belief systems. But we all know how to laugh, and cry, and sing, and sit in silence, and everything else. Everybody has the potential to be a jackass, just as everybody has the ability to be nice. Enough with the fear and prejudice already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today went alright, I guess. Upon waking, I noticed that my phone's alarm seems to have made it's own decision to work silently. But as I woke up on my own, it was no big deal. I didn't get much sleep, as I was IMing with somebody until a few minutes after midnight. I may not be a spring chicken anymore, but it was nice to know that I can still operate on only a few hours of sleep. I may have done so in a slightly dazed haze, but I still managed! I did feel quite a bit of guilt over a discussion I got into earlier last night. It took most of the day to shake the feeling, and I'm still not quite over it. I hope to make amends soon. I really need to shed some of the stress I've been putting on myself about this whole moving thing. I've been picking more fights than I like to, and my dark side has been coming out with much more regularity. Not cool! I may not always be the happy guy, but I'm not normally this mental for so many days in succession either. Somethings gotta give!!!

I did pack up the majority of my kitchen today, sans the coffee maker and the dishes. Marley was so surprised by the lack of blockage in the cabinets that he fell off the counter! Yes, he's okay... I've finally made peace with my mind over one thing. I will keep most of my kitchen appliances, and some of my dishes. The table is going to go, as are the stupid chairs I have for it, but everything else will be boxed up and stored. I just wish that this weekend wasn't a holiday weekend, as it will be rather rude to start taking up space with all my boxed up things during a party. Once again, when I need to get something done it turns out to be some kind of holiday weekend, when things are closed or otherwise encumbered with the general population celebrating something that they know very little about! That, as I've said too often, is just my kind of luck! Ha ha on me! The curse lives on...

One of these days I will have more amusing things to write about, as well as having a slightly less self absorbed mind. Soon I tell you, soon! For now I am just going to listen to some music, sip my beverage, try to relax a little, and prepare for the redo tomorrow morning.

Peace out y'all! Turn on a good song, of your choice, regardless of it's intended emotion inducing intent, and just enjoy it for a few minutes in what ever way you feel is best! 'Til next time, I bid you all adieu.


Lisa said...

Moving sucks. I know this. But it does get done, and then comes the unpacking. Whee!

lacesshe: buttonsshedoesn't.

eristar said...

I sincerely hope we never have to move I don't envy you one litle bit!
SUSNEDSH - ugh. Not a clue.